(We got to do this one in-person, in a gaming café in Watford! It was great!)
The party made a deal with Shallows: they’d head into the City of Brass, across the Sea of Flame, to steal a magical book known as ‘the Archive’ from the Absolute Ruler of the City of Brass, the Grand Sultan of the Efreet, the Lord of FLame, the Potentate Incandescent, the Tempering and Eternal Flame of Truth, the Most Puissant of Hunters, Marshal of the Order of the Fiery Heart, the Smoldering Dictator, the Crimson Firebrand, Marrake al-Sidan al Hariq ben Lazen.
After a discussion with Shallows, an ensorcelled ward against flame, a nice new dress for Firuzeh, and obtaining a Scroll of Foresight, the three set off with Redford in tow. They learned a whole bunch about Floodwall; such as the fact that each Royal specialises in a different school of magic, that the Royals have no influence over the Tide, that the city itself was founded more or less by accident – built up around a massive spire that had been pierced into the ground – and the nature of Oltin’s method of maintaining immortality.
Crossing the Sea of Flame proved arduous – the heat and lack of water meant the party grew exhausted, and this made things even more difficult when – for example – trying to sneak past a massive Fire Elemental. Despite Cranzalar’s thunderous sneezing, the party got by unscathed.
Upon bluffing their way through the city gates – telling the guard that Firuzeh was a visiting dignitary here to discuss trade agreements with the Sultan – the party soon found themselves perusing the wares in the City of Brass’s bustling bazaar. They traded several cursed items for valuable tools – losing the Boots of the Slug, the Leitner Book (The Bone Turner’s Tale), and the Ring of Gluttony, but gaining a Carpet of Flying and a Handy Haversack in return.
Cranzalar also had a small effigy of his God, Eadro, crafted from clay by an artisan in the city. They had coffee while waiting for it to be finished. It was pleasant, and in real life I ate a chilli dog and it was delicious.
It was time to head to the Charcoal Palace, and the Sultan’s personal library inside – leaving Redford in the coffee shop. Firuzeh was able to maintain her regal persona and get all of the Sultan’s titles correct and in the proper order, and so the Sultan offered to take her on a tour of his palace. They went off toward the Library, leaving Cranzalar and Vi with the Grand Vizier.
After noticing a massive brass statue of a Simorgh – a god bird – with scratching marks on its pedestal that indicated it could probably move, Vi told the Vizier she desperately needed the toilet. And that she needed Cranzalar’s help, because it might get messy. And then rolled a Natural Twenty.
The two then hid in the bathroom, making skunk smells and splashing sounds. Cranzalar used his divine powers, his sacred gifts granted unto him by an actual deity to make very, very loud fart noises.
To be fair, it worked perfectly.
While Uzi distracted the Sultan – and got him to try and impress her by showing off the vault he kept the Archive sealed away in – Vi Wild-Shaped into a spider and scuttled into the vault as it was being closed. Inside, she turned into a crab, broke the seal around the book, and set off the alarms.
Uzi prompted the Sultan to check his vault was safe while the alarms blared and the Simorgh in the grand hall awoke, and he opened it to find a crab attach itself to his face and jam its pincers in his eyes. Uzi grabbed the book, and the crab, and caught up with Cranzalar who was preparing the Flying Carpet for a speedy getaway.
As the carpet lifted off, soaring through the hallway towards the now-magically-sealed doors, the book offered to help – but to do so, Firuzeh would have to attune to it. She agreed, and used the Archive’s power to fire a massive Chromatic Orb to blast their way out.
The Simorgh was waiting as they soared past. The Carpet flew upwards, and the great god bird gave chase with a mighty flap of its brass wings. Cranzalar, rolling a Natural Twenty with his prepared slash from the Glass Sword, cleaved a massive wound in the Simorgh’s body (seventy flipping points of damage).
The Simorgh still followed, and as the carpet swooped out of the Charcoal Palace and over the City, it crashed through the front wall, getting closer and closer. Vi – no longer a crab at this point – fired out a huge Moonbeam, disrupting the shapechanging magic inhabiting the Simorgh and changing it back into a regular statue. It crashed down into the city, but probably didn’t kill anyone. Hopefully.
After collecting Redford, the group made their way back to Shallows, who demanded the Archive as part of their deal. Uzi wasn’t willing to give it up, but Shallows cast Hold Person and took it.
The Archive’s voice, in Uzi’s mind, asked her ‘not to freak out at this next bit’. When Shallows tried to read from the book, his mind – which was lacking in arcane protections – was overwhelmed by the knowledge in the book, and he took 92 points of damage and vanished in a blast of light, leaving nothing but a glowing rune on the floor.
Of course, this meant Redford was the new head of Dry Land! Flirtinis all round!!
The party went back through a chalk door to Floodwall, where about 5 minutes had passed. The sound of rain felt a little odd to hear, but was comforting, in a way.
That chilli dog was really good, seriously. A pretzel bun?! Wow.
Roll History 