Caliber Session 9: Gilt by Association, Part 1

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that an Ancient Dragon in possession of great power, must be in want of a hoard.

Or at least more things to add to their hoard. It’s psychological. Some say that with such long lives, a Dragon treats their hoard as a kind of external hard drive, storing their many centuries of experience in individual pieces like a student with a stack of flashcards.

This is why even benevolent dragons are so incensed by larceny; it’s not theft of a shiny bauble, it’s theft of a piece of the dragon’s mind.

That’s all well and good for your fantasy worlds where everyone is constantly covered in shit and all houses have a thatched roof. In worlds like that, Dragons still live in caves, and there’s no such thing as a capacitor.

In the world of Caliber, a Dragon doesn’t need to build a hoard for external storage. There are literal external storage devices for that. Yes, it’s a bit less romantic, but it’s indexable, searchable, and much more portable. There are pros and cons.

Yet the Dragons, despite spending the majority of their time condensed into a human shape, all still work tirelessly to cultivate a hoard. Few accumulate gold or gems; it’s more that they fixate on a subject or theme, and seek out items to collect within that genre. It’s not about objective value, it’s the personal value the Dragon places upon it; gilt by association.

So why do they do this? It’s simply the way their minds work. As creatures of Order (on a cosmic scale), they enjoy collecting and categorising. A place for every thing, and everything in its place. It’s psychological.

⁂

A single chair had been laid out before the Director’s desk on the top floor of the Institute. Upon it was a Gnome.

Merlin hadn’t been in the Director’s office alone before. He was used to two other chairs on this side of the desk, and two of his colleagues alongside (one of them refusing to be seated).

He didn’t appear nervous, mind you. More just uncertain, and irritated at the uncertainty.

Director Brynner’s metallic fingers clinked as he clasped his hands. Penelope Bynner, his spectral Granddaughter, bobbed slightly in the air with her feet at shoulder height.

‘I’ll get straight to the point, Mr. Williams,’ said the Director. ‘Penny has been telling me more about the potential of the social network you are working on.’

‘BlinkedIn,’ provided Merlin.

‘Yes, quite. If it were to really take off – “go viral” is the phrase, is it not?’ The others shook their heads, and the Director pressed on. ‘Well, should that happen, whatever it’s called, it could prove an incredibly useful tool both for the Caliber Institute and the Outsider community at large. In light of this, the Institute would be interested in funding your project as it exits the formative stages.’

For once, Merlin didn’t have a response already lined up. ‘Um… yes? That would be, it would be. Um. Yes! Fantastic?’ A beat. ‘Could I ask about my pay in that case?’

Penelope cleared her throat. Interestingly, ghosts still need to do this, though because of ectoplasm rather than phlegm. ‘We’d be looking to make BlinkedIn an official part of your role here at the Institute, so there’d be the wage for that on top of your salary for field work. We’d be hosting it on the servers onsite – you’ve already seen them, on the inbetween floor.’

Brynner was leaning forward in his chair. ‘I take it you’re interested, then, Mr. Williams? I’ll have a formal contract drawn up and we can get things properly signed and sealed soon. I think its capacity as an avenue of surveillance is extremely promising. That will be all.’

He began to shuffle papers on his desk, which were absolutely just blank.

⁂

Meanwhile, Ursa was sat on a stool in R&D while Emva did something arcane to a staff whirling away in the lathe. A gift bag containing some luxury hot chocolate kits and a book on cupcakes had been presented as a sort of bargaining chip.

‘…what I’m getting at is, uh, can a spell backfire and work on the caster instead?’ Ursa was saying.

Emva waited until she’d finished whatever step she was on before responding. Or maybe she was thinking through what to say.

‘I don’t think that’s a thing. Like, if you shot a Fireball another caster could send it back at you if they were powerful enough, I guess? But that’s less the spell being redirected and more the fire itself. Can you be any more specific?’

Ursa’s cheeks took on a bit of a Fireball of their own. ‘Uh, well, if I were to say, Charm Person, could the spell for example affect me and have me feeling weird feelings for a while?’

‘How long is a while?’

‘Oh, about a month now.’

Emva booted the E-stop on the lathe. ‘Then no,’ she said, quite firmly. ‘That’s not a thing.’

‘Oh. In that case, a completely unrelated question. You’re in a relationship with Cepheus…’

‘I am in a relationship with my husband, yeah.’

‘Yeah, I was just wondering about… like, you’re a Goblin, he’s a Minotaur… Is that something that’s, like, frowned upon in Outsider culture?’

There was a quirk of Emva’s eyebrow. ‘Ursa, are you asking about the… intimate logistics of our nights together?’

‘What? No!!’

‘Because let me tell you, it’s–‘

‘I wasn’t asking that! Oh my god!!’

‘–100% Beef–‘

‘Emva please that’s not what I–‘

Ursa desperately scrambled for a way to change the subject as Emva began holding up her hands as if estimating the size of a fish she’d caught.

‘Oh also Emva could you make some sort of charm that would protect against Scrying?!’

Emva stopped. She seemed to forget the previous topic. ‘Yeah, I could put something together.’

⁂

Nora had woken up that morning after a night of sleep that was to rest as raw tofu is to flavour. She stared at the ceiling in a fugue-like state for a few minutes, before her eyes came to rest on a long, silver thread that was coming from her chest.

‘What the fuck is this,’ she said to the Morris Worm, a few minutes later. She’d found that she couldn’t touch it unless she focused on it, and that it passed through walls and clothes. She’d tried to pull it out but to no avail. Checking through the window, it stretched off as far as she could see, vaguely northwards.

‘What is what?’ asked the Worm. ‘I don’t know what you mean?’

Nora plucked at the silver thread. ‘This!’

‘Uh… your shirt?’

‘Ugh.’ Nora switched off the monitor and left for work.

On the way she found that the thread was invisible to seemingly everyone; it passed through Humans and Outsiders alike. It always led off north. Whatever it was connected to must be quite a way away.

⁂

When Nora arrived at the Institute, she did so to find a message waiting to tell her she was required in Director Brynner’s office ASAP. It had been sent about 30 minutes ago.

She stopped by the canteen to get a cup of coffee first, because the ability to prioritise is what separates us from the animals. A Gnome in a beanie seemed to have had a similar primary concern.

‘Merlin.’

‘Nora.’

Their catchup out of the way, the two took the lift up to the top floor. Ursa was waiting in the little lobby before the office proper, and the three of them went in as one.

Most aspects of the office were familiar by now. The usual three chairs had been set out before the desk. The desk was largely normal, though it had been completely cleared of paperwork.

The comfortable leather chair behind the desk didn’t contain its usual occupant. Instead, a woman none of them recognised sat in it, curiously managing to both lounge and look like she was on the cusp of exploding into berserk rage.

Brynner himself was stood at the window, looking out over the city with his arms behind his back. He turned and addressed the situation before anyone else had the opportunity.

‘Ah, you’re here. It’s my pleasure to introduce you to Laniakea; she’s a… friend of the Institute, and holds no small amount of sway over the Draconic end of things in the city.’ His voice was perhaps a bit strained. ‘She’s here because as a key diplomatic ally of ours we do owe her for–‘

The woman got to her feet. She wore a smart business suit, hair tied back, and her eyes held gleaming murder. ‘I am here,’ she said, slowly and with an accent like translating her words into something understandable was a personal offense, ‘Because something has been taken from me.’

Brynner waited to see if she’d continue. When she didn’t, he turned back to his three employees. ‘Yes, unfortunately there’s–‘

‘I cannot rely on my own resources,’ continued Laniakea, ‘As they are more likely than not involved in this act of larceny. Understand that I would never stoop to utilising this Institute were it not a necessity. Tell me your names.’

Brynner nodded encouragingly.

‘Well, I’m Ursa!’ said Ursa. When the other two didn’t speak up, she added, ‘And this is Merlin, and this is Nora.’

‘That is enough. Will you accept the task I require of you?’

Brynner nodded again.

‘I mean, it’d be nice to get a bit more info before we agree to do anything,’ said Merlin.

The other two shot him a look, but he just gave a shrug that said What? It’s true.

Laniakea’s eyes narrowed. ‘You will be given only what you require. If you will not give your word that you will solve this incident, I am not willing to risk a leak of information. Do you accept?’

‘I never said I wasn’t going to,’ said Merlin. The others agreed.

‘Good. Minette?’

The woman that had been stood unnoticed in the corner rushed forwards with a laptop, and set it on the desk. She had the demeanour of a field mouse with an owl looming over it. She pressed a key and a video began to play.

In it, footage from what was obviously a security camera showed a display case containing four books. Nothing happened for a few seconds, and then the glass of the case smashed inwards entirely on its own. One of the books lifted into the air slightly before vanishing.

Laniakea moved from behind the desk as if to leave. ‘So, you have seen what occurred. This should be enough information for you to begin. Retrieve my stolen property. You need not bring the perpetrator to me, but I would like to know their identity so I can mete out sufficient punishment.’

She made a little gesture and Minette held out a cigarette for her. Laniakea snapped her teeth and a little green spark lit the end. ‘Minette is my personal assistant. She will give you any other information you need. You have 24 hours.’

With that vague ultimatum she made her way to the lift.

‘Wait, wait,’ said Ursa to Minette. ‘Is that 24 hours because something bad is going to happen, or 24 hours because that’s just what she’s decided?’

Laniakea’s voice came back from the direction of the lift, which apparently hadn’t arrived yet. ’24 hours because that is the limit of my patience. So yes, something bad would happen.’

Minette gave a nervous laugh, though with her mouth clamped firmly shut so as not to let the sound carry. ‘Um, I can talk you through the events on the way,’ she said, still barely moving her mouth. ‘You’ve got permission to view Laniakea’s private collection; the, er, scene of the crime. So I can drive you across to Open Sky if you’ll follow me? We’ll… just wait to make sure Laniakea herself is already out of the building.’

⁂

On the way in a tinted-window SUV that was entirely incongruous with Minette’s seeming desire to be as small and quiet as possible – presumably a company car – it was explained that Laniakea was acting under the assumption that the theft must be an inside job, as the whole building was warded against teleportation and the like.

Said building, Open Sky Capital, was a private equity firm of which Laniakea was the owner and chief exec. It vetted its employees quite thoroughly, but apparently not well enough.

The firm owned an entire skyscraper, top to bottom; Minette’s explanation continued as they pulled into the on-site car park. Laniakea herself was an Ancient Green Dragon, so whoever did this was either strong enough to go toe-to-toe with her, or was stupid enough to necessitate a new category in the Darwin Awards.

‘Speaking of which,’ Minette murmured as they walked by the security desk. A Kobold and a Dragonborn watched politely, with the Kobold giving Minette a salute and Minette giving an eye-roll in return.

‘Laniakea has been calling those two the prime suspects,’ she said, once security had pushed the button that opened the lift. Inside, Minette tapped her I.D card to the control panel and the lift began to move. ‘See, we need to scan I.D cards for certain secure floors, and other than security, only Laniakea and I have access to her office.’

‘Is there a log of whose cards are scanned?’ asked Merlin.

‘Yes, it’s accessible from the security desk. We can check that after viewing the, uh, Hoard?’

‘That’s a point,’ said Nora. ‘How are we supposed to find this book when we don’t know what it is?’

Minette had the decency to look embarrassed. ‘I’m not sure about that myself,’ she mumbled. ‘Though the official line is that “you will know it when you see it”.’

They arrived on the topmost floor. It seemed Laniakea’s ‘office’ encompassed the entire floor – as the doors of the lift opened with a little ping, they were greeted by lush, tropical vegetation and a running stream. Perfume on the suddenly humid air. Birds and insects flitting about in their own miniature ecosystem.

A path lead up to Laniakea’s desk, which was more a throne with a table in front. There was an actual waterfall behind it, because of course there was.

‘I really dislike this bit,’ said Minette, and walked into the waterfall.

As the others debated if they were supposed to follow, there was a loud, mechanical sound and the water parted to reveal a dripping Minette by a nondescript door. ‘Shall we?’

Inside was the vault from the security footage. There were several display cases, multiple shelves of books, a rack of weapons on the wall – each of which was gleaming and razor sharp. There was also a large table at the back, done up like something in a church with candles and a fancy tablecloth, upon which was a simple mortar and pestle.

As the three visitors looked around, there was a shepherd’s crook mounted on the wall to one edge, there was a locked display with two fist-sized glass orbs in it, there was a display containing a leering face with some kind of sphere of pure blackness in its mouth, and a folded piece of cloth just next to it. A fiery red crystal about the size of a human palm, kept in a glass case so powerfully warded that Ursa’s hair stood on end when she passed by (the others had hats for protection). A crooked staff with a skull on top. A wand that looked like an iron spinal cord.

‘So…’ said Minette, ‘I’d recommend not touching anything. Laniakea’s hoard, the uh, subject of interest for her, is specifically doomsday artifacts.’

The case with the stolen book lay to one side of the room. There were three other books still in the case, untouched save for the broken glass atop them. Merlin inspected them; two had Infernal and Celestial imagery on the cover, one was simply labelled ‘The Archive’. Unimportant.

‘Well,’ he said. ‘Firstly, this vault is incredibly poorly-hidden. The warding seems passable, but putting it behind a waterfall is a bit of a cliché, isn’t it?’

A voice rang out from the doorway behind him.

‘It is not a cliché. It is… cool.’

Laniakea had appeared in her vault. The others went completely silent. Merlin, though, found himself grappling with the danger he was in and the inherent comedy of the Ancient Dragon’s response.

He began to sweat. Couldn’t help laughing. Tried to suppress his grin.

Laniakea was standing over him then. A plume of green gaseous poison curled from the corner of her mouth, though her cigarette was long gone now. ‘Is something the matter, Gnome?’

There was a snap as she closed her mouth, and the plume ignited in a flash of viridian.

‘No. Nothing,’ said Merlin. He thought back to a dark room beneath the Institute, and a Fate with her back turned.

‘You can go now, Minette,’ said Laniakea, still bearing down on Merlin.

‘So! Can we ask a few questions?’ asked Ursa, while Laniakea’s assistant scurried off. ‘First of all, where were you when the theft took place?’

Laniakea turned quite slowly to face her. ‘I was out at a lunch meeting. Do you have any suspects yet? I am suspicious of the two manning the security desk at the time of the incident. There is also a new employee. She may have joined the company just to steal from me.’

‘Well, uh, we’ll start looking into suspects when we’ve got the timeline down. Who knew about your lunch meeting?’

‘The one I was meeting. Any who saw me leave. And Minette. Do you believe her to be the prime suspect?’ Another plume of poison.

‘No, no, we’re not–‘

Nora cut in. ‘You mentioned new employees. How long has Minette been working for you?’

‘A decade now. Do you think someone may have gotten to her? Has she been blackmailed into betraying me?’

‘We’re not accusing anyone yet!’ insisted Ursa. ‘Can I ask who your business lunch was with?’

‘You are asking a lot of questions.’

‘Well, yeah, that’s what we’re here to do?’ said Ursa, before covering her mouth.

On the bright side, Laniakea seemed to have forgotten her ire for Merlin.

‘I was meeting with Mr. Pyrite. He is another Dragon. An old enemy.’

‘You were meeting with an enemy?’

‘That is the whole purpose of business. Is Mr. Pyrite the prime suspect?’

Ursa suppressed a groan. ‘Well, if he’s an enemy of yours maybe we should look into him. Are there any other enemies that could pull this off we should know about?’

Laniakea thought for a moment, though her face didn’t change in any way. ‘There is… Adagio. But you will not find Adagio. She is elusive.’ She held out a card for Ursa to take, which held an address – a Judge’s chambers downtown, where Mr. Pyite could supposedly be found.

‘Isn’t there any kind of security system apart from the cameras?’ asked Merlin.

Laniakea showed her teeth. ‘I am the security, little Gnome. This is another clue that points to an inside job. The birds and the insects out there, they are my eyes and my ears. But the thief knew I would be distracted by my discussion with Mr. Pyrite.’

‘Do you let them come and go? Could someone have shapeshifted and blended in?’

‘I do not. If that is all for your questioning, I will be in my office proper. Minette will be on hand to provide assistance as you retrieve my property.’

‘We’ll do our best,’ said Ursa.

Laniakea tilted her head like a bird inspecting a grub on a tree branch. ‘I have been assured of your competence by your Caliber Director. Already I have overlooked several insults from you as I’m told your talents guarantee my property’s retrieval.’

Her face was inches from Ursa’s now. ‘I sincerely hope that our concepts of “your best” are one and the same. You have 22 hours left.’

⁂

In the lift downwards, Ursa whipped out her phone and penned a flash-quick text to a certain Demon.

Hey, so we have to find like, a doomsday device that got stolen off an ANCIENT GREEN DRAGON????? She’s fucking terrifying, but the good news is we only have 22 hours?????? Wish me luck?????? 💀 💀 💀

Merlin watched her do so on the semi-reflective walls of the lift. He couldn’t make out the message itself, but he could make out the word ‘Alkahest’ at the top of the screen.

They’d asked Minette to set up a room in which they could interview their suspects, but first and foremost, they wanted to take a look at the security logs and camera footage.

Alkahest had replied by the time they reached the ground floor, though from a different number than the one Ursa had sent her message to.

What kind of device?

A book. That’s all she’d tell us. Have you met her?

Shit. Could be a few things. But if it’s any of the ones I know about then that’s going to be… extremely bad. I’m sending you an address. It’s an old friend of mine. They should be able to give you answers.

I’m assuming ‘her’ means Laniakea? We haven’t met, no. Hope we never do.

Oh jeezeeeeeeee 😱😱😱 Thank you, will go check them out! Hope you’re doing ok!

‘Excuse me.’

Merlin’s voice ripped her from her messages. She frantically locked the screen, but fortunately he hadn’t been addressing her.

They were at the security desk now, looking down at Tasi – the Kobold – and Urknall – the Dragonborn. Well, they were looking down at Tasi. Urknall’s massive form still towered above them, despite her low chair.

‘Hello there,’ said Tasi, in a voice like a cartoon beetle. ‘How may I help you this fine afternoon?’

‘We’re investigating the theft that occurred yesterday, at the request of Laniakea herself. We need to see the security tapes covering the time of the incident.’

‘Oh, sure,’ said the Kobold. ‘It might take a little while to rewind though.’

As it turned out, the security tapes were literally that; there was a VCR with a screen built into the desk. Each tape supposedly covered one week. Laniakea insisted upon them, because analogue formats were harder to tamper with, magically or otherwise.

They sped through the footage. Tasi’s greetings were comical in fast-reverse, particularly his salutes that made it look like he was punching himself in the side of the head. Urknall barely moved; it looked more like she was at regular speed.

The tape slowed down to show lunchtime of the previous day. The lobby was full of people coming and going with lunchboxes and paper bags. Tasi marched toward the desk phone, saluted again, and stood at attention with it to his ear.

‘Oh, yeah, we do the weekly fire drill,’ said Tasi. ‘That’s what the callout is for.’

There was no sound on the footage. A Fiend with horns and mint-green hair wandered towards the stairs with her hands in her pockets. Merlin winced upon spotting her, but said nothing. The others in the lobby reacted just barely to the alarm, and stopped scanning their I.D cards to open the main entrance.

‘Oh the doors unlock when it’s the fire drill,’ explained Tasi when this was remarked upon. ‘For safety.’

‘Wait. Go back a second,’ said Merlin. ‘See there. The lift door opened.’

‘Oh yeah, that’s another fire drill thing. The lifts come right down to the ground floor when there’s a fire.’

‘That doesn’t seem very safe,’ said Nora.

‘Hey, I didn’t install them.’

‘Are the lifts still usable after they’ve come down to the first floor?’

‘Yeah, I think so?’

‘Then we’ll need to see the log of who used it during that time,’ said Merlin.

‘Uh, sure,’ said Tasi.

There was a rumble from Urknall. When she spoke it was slow but implacable, with the sort of inexorable momentum of a glacier. ‘That wouldn’t do any good though. The computer stops tracking while the doors are unlocked.’

Tasi shot her a hard look. ‘Well yeah, but you still need a card for the lift to work.’

Urknall nodded. Down on the screen, Video-Urknall had gone to check that the magnetic locks on the front doors had reactivated. Video-Tasi typed away at the security console.

‘What’s going on there?’ asked Nora.

A deep sound heralded another sentence from Urknall. ‘I went to see if the door had locked. Tasi does the computer things.’

‘So let’s just go over the facts,’ said Merlin. ‘Laniakea was out to lunch. So were a lot of people. You two did the fire drill, which meant the front door was all-access and there was no longer any tracking of who used the lift or what floors were accessed?’

‘…Yeah,’ said Urknall. ‘I think so. Probably.’

‘Could someone have used the stairs?’ asked Nora. She was growing more and more suspicious of them both, particularly Urknall’s deliberation before everything she said.

Urknall shook her head. ‘The doors only open for like, a minute until Tasi turns on the lock again. And it’s a big building.’

Ursa had been thinking through events. ‘Are there cameras facing the lifts on other floors?’

‘Yeah,’ said Urknall.

‘So can we see the one on the top floor?’

‘Oh. No, there isn’t one there.’

Tasi nodded in agreement. ‘The boss likes her privacy,’ he said.

Nora’s fingernails were digging into her palms at this point. ‘Did you notice anything suspicious? You’re the fucking security. Seems like you weren’t paying much attention.’

Tasi kept quiet. Urknall blinked and said, ‘Why we suspicious?’

‘Right, that’s it.’ Nora had her gun to the back of Urknall’s head in less than a second. ‘You’re covering for something. Both of you. Start talking.’

Urknall stayed completely still, as Tasi just stared dumbfounded.

‘Me, uh… me…’ Urknall began, before her shoulders sagged. ‘Alright, yes, I admit I may have overdone it on the whole “dumb muscle” archetype. That’s hardly reason to point a gun at me, now, is it?’

Tasi’s mouth dropped open.

‘Yes, yes, contrary to appearances my I.Q is a positive number,’ said Urknall. ‘Can we perhaps de-escalate the situation? I’m happy to talk.’

Nora lowered her weapon, and Urknall got to her feet. If Nora wanted to shoot the Dragonborn’s head, she’d need to fire her pistol straight up like she’d just found oil (black gold!!).

‘Okay,’ Urknall said. ‘Now, I wasn’t hired for my astute observations, I was hired because I’m nearly as broad as I am tall. But that does mean people will just assume I don’t notice things. Yesterday, the doors remained open – that is to say the magnetic locks didn’t re-engage – for quite a bit longer than usual.’

‘And why was that?’ asked Merlin.

‘I don’t actually know. Tasi really does do all the computer things. One of the perks of being thought an imbecile is that no one asks you for help with technical busywork.’

The three from the Institute turned to address Tasi. ‘It just sometimes takes a long time to activate,’ he said.

‘Does it really?’ asked Merlin, typing away at his laptop. ‘Because I’ve just accessed the logs and it seems to require an actual command. It isn’t on a timer.’

‘Oh, really?’

‘Yes, really. It seems you waited seven whole minutes before locking the doors again.’

‘Oh. Well, sometimes you have a bad day. I’d been out drinking the night before. I was hungover.’

‘Who were you out drinking with?’

‘Oh, uh, just my cousin and my… grandmother.’

Ursa stepped into the foreground, leaning smoothly on the desk. ‘Tasi? I Suggest you stop fooling around and tell us the truth.’

She’d held a subtle little chord on her Midi Fighter the coated her words in salted-caramel magic.

Tasi blinked as if the pollen count had rocketed, then smiled. ‘Alright, fine. I was given orders to leave as long as possible before reactivating the locks and the security logs.’

‘From Laniakea?’

‘What? No, from my other boss.’

‘…Who’s that?’

‘Oh, it’s Mr. Pyrite.’

The others stared at him. ‘Tasi, how long have you worked here?’ asked Nora.

‘It’ll be five years in April!’

‘And was it all leading up to this theft?’

‘No, no. I’m more like a spy.’

‘What would you do if we were to tell Laniakea?’ asked Merlin.

‘She probably knows already!’ said Tasi, grin unfading.

‘So,’ said Ursa, thoughtfully. ‘If it wasn’t you that did it, you just helped… do you know who did? Obviously it wasn’t Pyrite himself, or he’d have missed his lunch meeting.’

‘I have no idea!’ smiled Tasi. ‘Mr. Pyrite tries not to give me details because I’m a bad liar!’

That seemed fair.

There was a ping from the lift at the lobby’s far end. The Fiend that Merlin had spotted in the footage earlier appeared, saw the Caliber Institute employees, and immediately vanished back into the lift.

She emerged on a floor about halfway up the building and made her way swiftly down a corridor. Merlin and the others were waiting.

⁂

One Hold Person and a length of rope later, the Devil named Rembra found herself tied to a chair in the party’s makeshift interrogation room.

‘How did you even find me?’ she asked, sourly.

‘We were literally at the security desk,’ said Merlin. ‘What the fuck are you doing here, Rembra?’

Ursa did a double take. ‘Wait, you know her?’

‘Yes. We’d worked–‘

Rembra leapt in. ‘I hired him before for a bit of help getting into a certain bank’s security!’

Merlin gave a shrug at the other’s incredulous looks. ‘She tried to pin it on me, too. I’ll repeat the question: what the fuck are you doing here?’

‘This is my job.’ said Rembra. ‘Been here a couple weeks! Lots of fun.’

This time Merlin wore the incredulous look. ‘What? What are you doing working? What happened to call that cash?’

Rembra’s archness trickled away. ‘I, uh. I lost it.’

Merlin laughed for a solid ten seconds.

‘Can you tell us where you were during lunchtime yesterday?’ asked Nora. ‘Merlin tells us you were in the footage heading into the building rather than out.’

‘Well, I never go out to lunch if that’s what you mean.’

‘Don’t you eat?’ asked Ursa.

‘I don’t eat food.’

Ursa frowned. ‘What do you eat, then?’

The ropes snapped. A pair of sharp, grey, bat-like wings grew from Rembra’s back. Her face elongated to unnatural sharpness, and her horns grew along with it, much more natural but no less sharp.

‘Hope,’ she rasped.

And then she leaned back, normal shape returning.

Ursa cleared her throat. ‘That seemed unnecessary.’

‘Meh,’ said Rembra. ‘So, I was just at my desk.’

‘Can you prove that?’ asked Nora.

‘Uh. I’d rather not.’

‘Why not?’

The Devil said nothing. Merlin, though, was furiously typing on his computer.

‘You were just sat looking at porn!’ he yelled. ‘For… seven hours?!’

‘I get bored,’ said Rembra.

⁂

Once Rembra had left, a few leads still bore further investigation.

• The scene of the crime presumably still held some potential clues.
• Mr. Pyrite was obviously involved, though precisely how remained to be seen.
• Ursa had been given the address of a contact of Alkahest’s, who may know more about what it was they were trying to find
• Plus there was the elusive Adagio, a known enemy of Laniakea.

Lots to do. Mysteries are a lot of work.

Upward, in the sky above the city, a bubbling red rift blinked open.