[This session was an interesting one! Since Merlin and Nora wouldn’t be present for much of the trial itself, I instead asked Adam and Melissa to play Cait-Sìth (the Prosecution) and Elene (the Defense) respectively. They did a better job than I ever could have.]
Merlin looked down at his ruined shirt. The potion he’d gotten from Alkahest had done wonders on the not-bleeding-to-death front, but less so on anything else. He’d need some sort of Potion of Greater Darning for that.
‘Why the hell did you get up on the roof?!’ said Nora, incredulous.
Merlin coughed. His shoulder still hurt. ‘I thought it’d be a good idea to–‘
‘To get shot?’
Alkahest glanced at the two of them in the back seat. ‘It’s always a good idea to get shot, yeah,’ he said.
This earned a united front of grousing from both Merlin and Nora.
‘I didn’t exactly paint a target on my chest and shout “ooh, hit me”, did I?’ said Merlin.
Nora scoffed. ‘That’s exactly what you did.’
Their pace had slowed considerably in the approach to London’s circulatory system. Though the city itself seemed greener than on the Fulcrum Earth – complete with beautiful, ornamented solar panels and a plethora of rooftop greenhouses – traffic was just as noxious; frequent nose-to-tail queues, much honking of horns, and a general consensus that any pedestrians must be destroyed.
Here, a number of parks present in the Fulcrum’s London were instead towering clusters of megaflora; redwoods and mountain ash, trees not even native to the UK that loomed over the nearby buildings like goons behind a mob boss.
Alkahest spotted the Houses of Parliament, somewhat dilapidated in this version of the city, surrounded by a moat of greenery. They were surely getting closer.
And a wave of magical pressure, created by a presence so thaumaturgically dense as to bend reality around it, washed over the car.
Nora felt it run through her, up through her feet and into her torso, feeling almost like the thrumming of the cord that wasn’t in her chest on this world. She took a deep breath and pushed it down.
Alkahest tasted it in the air before it hit them properly. He wasn’t too concerned by it; he’d had the full ire of beings of such arcane intensity turned upon him before, and thus built up a bit of an immunity. This wasn’t his first rodeo, as it were. He hoped Ursa was okay.
‘Urk,’ said Merlin. Merlin spent much of his time attuned to the weave of magic itself, thinking about how to translate it into static code, how to develop new uses that worked with technology. His mind instinctively tried to parse the level of power that had hit him, and experienced something akin to an “integer too large” error.
This was translated by his body into a sense of vertigo and nausea, coupled with a sting from that jellyfish that fills you specifically with a sense of impending doom. ‘Oh god, there’s someone here in the city that’s… we’re going to die,’ he said. ‘I think I’m going to throw up an exception.’
Nora looked down at him, unsure of what to do, or if she should even say anything at all. ‘Are you… going to be alright?’ she hazarded.
‘I’m okay for now,’ said Merlin, albeit with a tremor in his voice. ‘I’ll let you know if it passes because that probably means we’re going the wrong way.’
The car had been slowing, looking for a place to pull over, but at this Alkahest put his foot down again. ‘You’re like a dowsing rod, I get it,’ he said.
‘Ugh. Yeah, that’s the idea,’ said Merlin. ‘I’ll maybe just open a window in case I really do need to barf.’
Nora promptly climbed into the front seat.
‘Ow,’ she said, having sat on something. Presumably the old woman Merlin stabbed had dropped it before disappearing.
It was a small, but ornate, silver key.
⁂
Meanwhile, only not really, Ursa sat among the Summer Court; free of bars but little else. She only half-listened to the fading buzz of conversation around her, knowing that while she could say, make a break for it, she’d probably be disintegrated before her chair was all the way back.
It was fine. She just had to get through this.
Below her feet was a floor of volcanic glass, circling out from the podium that Queen Titania had just arrived at. Beyond it was green grass, and beyond that was a circle of massive trees packed so tight that they must have been sharing roots.
Carved into one tree thicker across its trunk than the rest, was an ornate wooden door with a keyhole but no handles.
‘Hey, I asked you a question,’ said a carefully calm voice.
Ursa snapped back to herself. Her defense, Elene, was talking to her. Elene’s fur was a rich, dark brown, fading to a cream colour by the time it reached the tips of her cunicular ears. She wasn’t dressed like a lawyer, with a holographic jacket and an aluminium baseball bat leaning up against the table. Ursa wouldn’t have been shocked if Elene was wearing roller skates.
That wasn’t to say she wasn’t invested in Ursa’s case. She was planning their approach as if her life depended on it, too.
‘Sorry, what was the question again?’ asked Ursa.
‘I just wanted you to clarify your story. I don’t want us to be contradicting one another.’
Ursa shifted in her chair. ‘Well, uh, we’re just going to be telling the truth. How would we contradict each other?’
Elene’s look was scathing. ‘Ursa, as I’ve explained already – twice – we aren’t here to debate the truth. We’re here to weave what you did into the most entertaining story we can, and hope that her Majesty wants to see our version of the ending.’
‘The ending where I get to go home, right.’
‘The ending where you live.’
Across to their right, at an identical table, on an identical chair – albeit one with three purple cushions, for height – sat Cait-Sìth. He was poring over a file he’d brought with his trademark look of fury.
‘Well?’
Titania’s voice, quiet as a sunrise, silenced the whole congregation.
‘Shall we begin?’
No one answered.
‘I think we shall. This trial will commence in the following format: I will ask Ursa Carpenter a question. She will answer. Then the defense and prosecution will interpret her answer for the benefit of the court.
‘The trial will proceed in this way until we introduce witnesses, who will give their statements. From there, I will make my final judgement.’
The massive bell that would mark the end of the trial looked tiny beside the Queen.
‘Ursa Carpenter,’ said Titania. ‘Why did you murder Montparnasse?’
‘Oh, boy,’ said Ursa, failing to keep a nervous giggle from her voice. ‘Just going straight off into the deep end?’
She’d been talking to herself, but Titania chose to answer. ‘If that question is too complex, why don’t we instead begin by establishing exactly how it was you murdered Montparnasse.’
‘I think murder is a bit of a strong word… it was life or death; he was trying to kill us…. uh. All very bad. I charmed my, errrr, Demon friend and made him bite off a head. A rash decision I wouldn’t repeat, but like I said, life or death, him or us.’
She stopped at Titania’s expression.
‘I think what my client is trying to say–‘ began Elene, hastily wading in to offer a stitch in time. Her words were met by a growl from the throat of Cait-Sìth, a sort of feline I-can’t-believe-you-butted-in-like-that.
Elene pressed on. ‘What my client is trying to say is that she felt threatened by Montparnasse. He was, after all, a highly-capable agent of the Court; one who was dispatched precisely because his abilities were difficult to counter. Could you elaborate on these feelings, Ursa Carpenter?’
‘Well, aside from trying to brain control us and make us kill each other, he kept going into peoples minds and making them see things that weren’t there? We agreed on a truce while in the labyrinth, but the second we got outside he was like “ok now I’m going to kill you”. Not cool.’
‘Objection, your honour.’ Queen Titania’s voice. Everyone turned to look at her. She smiled. ‘Objection sustained. Ursa Carpenter, you are now launching ad hominem attacks at your victim.’
‘No I’m just saying why I felt it was necessary to–‘
‘Objection sustained.‘
Elene looked from the Queen, to Ursa, and back again. Then at her own feet. She took a deep breath. ‘So… clearly she felt that her life was truly in danger. So it was a case of maybe… kill or be killed, like she said? She wouldn’t have known anything about the situation between the Summer Court and Alkahest. And she clearly, obviously feels guilty for what she did.’
She glanced again to Ursa, who gave a vigorous, supportive nod.
‘…And I think it speaks volumes of her character that she’s turned herself in, to try and atone for this,’ concluded Elene. ‘A heroine willing to pay the price for mistakes beyond her control.’
Queen Titania’s eyes, lit from within by the last flashes of a thousand years of sunsets, moved from Elene to Cait-Sìth without a second’s linger on her words. It was the prosecution’s turn.
Cait-Sìth hopped down from his cushions, and began to pace back and forth; the heads of each onlooker following him and his proclamation.
‘So. What I’m hearing, Ursa Carpenter, is that you’re fairly good chums with this Demon you supposedly controlled. You’d only met him a few hours before the incident, and yet you were already buddy-buddy with him? That seems… funny to me.
‘Now. The fact you’ve done this – that is to say, lets control of the situation spiral so far from you that you ended up carrying out a murder – on your very first mission, tells me you’re reckless, and stupid, and rash, and incompetent. Lacking in logical judgement. Coupled with the fact that you threw your lot in with that scumbag Alkahest – and we all know the sort of person he is here in the Summer Court–‘
Ursa couldn’t keep her mouth shut.
‘Wait, before you go off about Alkahest being terrible, I’d only just met him! I didn’t know he was connected to Fae politics, like Elene said! You can hardly judge me by association when I didn’t even know him then!
‘I didn’t realise Montparnasse was there specifically to deal with him either; how could I? He was just the only one out of the two who didn’t try and fuck with my brain! So yeah, I sided with the guy that was nice to me, not the one that was trying to kill me.’
‘So, what, the murderer is saying is that she’s gullible?’ scoffed Cait-Sìth. ‘And she just goes off her immediate impression of someone being nice to her?’
‘Yeah! If someone’s nice to me, I’m more likely to be friends with them. That’s how the world works!’
‘Even if that someone is just doing it to use you for their own ends?’
‘That’s their problem, not mine.’
Where was he going with this? Wasn’t Ursa’s guilt already a given? Why was Alkahest such a hot topic? Fae court didn’t care about getting the right culprit, they cared about getting the best story.
Cait-Sìth met her eyes. He hadn’t looked at the jury – at the audience – once.
He didn’t care about the story. He cared about the truth.
‘Oh, fuck,’ said Ursa, very quietly.
‘How do you know that Alkahest wasn’t using you, then,’ Cait-Sìth continued, ‘To succeed in his mission?’
‘I’m the one who charmed him! He didn’t even get the bones at the end; you know, the whole reason he was there? And anyway, this is nothing to do with him!’
‘You called him your friend. How do we know you weren’t in on it together?’
‘Even if he was my friend at the time – which he wasn’t – would you let your friends just mind-control you? And even if he would, I doubt he was expecting me to say “hey, you’ve got a big mouth. Bite that guy’s head off”!’
‘So you admit there was intent from yourself, there?’
‘I… what part of life or death do you not get?!’
‘What part of incompetent and reckless do you not get?’
Ursa recoiled from this, just slightly. She looked up at Queen Titania, who wore the expression of one watching a boxing match. Was this personal? Insulting her would undermine Cait-Sìth’s case, surely? It was much less likely that she’d be convicted if the whole Summer Court saw her as a blundering incompetent. Especially one being bullied by a cat. Was he trying to twist things round to get both her and Alkahest?
‘I’m not denying that it wasn’t reckless,’ she said, forcing patience. ‘But at the end of the day, if someone’s trying to kill me, I’m not going to just sit there. Yes, I acted rashly. I was a newbie. I still am. We weren’t told the Summer Court was going to be there. And I didn’t know I’d be up against a psychic weirdo!’
‘Montparnasse was well loved by the Summer Court, and even by her majesty Queen Titania herself,’ said Cait-Sìth, with an emphatic nod from Titania taking place far above him. ‘Calling him a “psychic weirdo” is–‘
‘Well, I wish I’d met the version of him that you all seem to remember. Because the guy I met just tried to kill me and my friends a bunch.’
Something about this appeared to resonate among the collected Summer Court. Perhaps because it sounded uncomfortably close to a genuine feeling, and that meant perhaps Ursa’s assessment of Montparnasse wasn’t just an attempt to discredit him. Just perhaps.
‘In that case,’ said Titania, voice a near-whisper that drowned out the rest of the court. ‘Let us move onto our next question. Ursa Carpenter…’
‘You can just call me Ursa.’
‘…What did you think of Montparnasse upon your initial meeting of him?’
Ursa paused to think for a moment. Not about her answer, but about how this question pertained not so much to a murder trial, but more to juicy gossip at a sleepover.
‘Uh, well, he immediately spied into my brain,’ she said. ‘So… uncomfortable?’
‘He was using his gift without sufficient cause, you mean?’
‘Yeah, he sort of implied he couldn’t turn it off? And then he tricked my friends into thinking they were seeing ghosts.’
‘But not yourself?’
‘Oh, no,’ said Ursa, waving her hand. ‘I had special headphones to keep his psionics out. But my friends were pretty shit up.’
This comment got a yowl from Cait-Sìth that may have been the feline equivalent of an “ahem“.
‘So… at the point you murdered him, he wasn’t even a threat to you?’ asked the cat.
Despite the question being rhetorical, Ursa stabbed back with an answer. ‘Oh, no, he was! If he brain-controls my friends to get them to murder me, that’s still a pretty major threat. And he wasn’t only going for me and my friends; he was going to use two human bystanders as hostages!’
There came a frown from Titania’s lighthouse brow. ‘Now, that doesn’t sound very much like Montparnasse. He had turned his back on the Winter Court’s devious methods.’
Ursa was getting a little worked up at all the constant declarations of Montparnasse’s cool-person-status.
‘Well, he seemed quite different to the way you’re describing! And that sucks, because he sounds like a great guy based on what everyone says. But literally the moment I met him he was spying on our thoughts, and being a creep, and eventually just trying to outright kill us! The only reason we survived was because his attempt to control Alkahest failed – he tried to set him on us at the end and get the bones, but Alkahest was already under my charm effect and it didn’t work! If it had we’d all be dead!’
‘It sounds, Ursa Carpenter,’ said Titania, ‘Like you are condemning Montparnasse’s use of mind-altering magic, and yet you openly state that you yourself use the very same type of magic. Does this not sound hypocritical to you?’
‘Well, mine isn’t as strong, and–‘
‘I would like the prosecution and defense to interpret this.’
Ursa bit down on her protests, and turned instead to observe Cait-Sìth. As the cat’s mouth opened, Elene cut in with her own elucidation.
‘Clearly,’ she said, ‘My client has acted as the heroine in this situation. Maybe not… intentionally, but she obviously sensed something was amiss with Montparnasse from the very beginning. As loved as he was, and as well-known and regarded, why would she fabricate a story that painted him as some moustache-twirling caitiff? Why create such an obvious lie?
‘If her account of events actively undermines her own case, then I believe we should accept it as sincere. And if we accept it as sincere, then it becomes clear that Ursa Carpenter was only trying to protect the lives of her friends, and of the mortal bystanders.
‘And if the lives of mortal bystanders were protected – and I hope I’m not being too bold here – then hasn’t she helped the Summer Court avoid a major incident, if one of our own has somehow strayed from the path of heroism? Ursa Carpenter was the only one present that could have prevented him from–‘
‘Elene,’ came Titania’s voice, light and implacable as a cloud blotting out the sun. ‘Are you painting Montparnasse as the villain in all of this?’
Elene’s eyes began to dart around the room. She swallowed, and tried without much luck not to make a cartoonish gulp sound. ‘…No,‘ she said eventually. ‘I’m just… wondering. Could there be something else that had gone awry that is wholly unconnected to Ursa Carpenter? Given that it’s such an apparent change in character for Montparnasse… could there have been something else going on?’
Queen Titania smiled. ‘Ah,’ she said, dragging out the syllable. ‘I had, after all, not a moment ago stated that he had gotten over his Winter Court habits, and I’m sure you wouldn’t imply otherwise to contradict me, would you?’
Elene shook her head vigorously, causing her ears to twist about like she’d been drinking Nesquik. Ursa couldn’t help but smile at the thought.
‘I’m certainly not implying anything of that nature,’ said the rabbitfolk. ‘I’m simply asking for maybe some… consideration. I’m more than aware, my Queen, that he was someone who meant a lot to you. To everyone, and–‘
‘Yes, he was,’ said Titania. It wasn’t clear if she’d intended to interject, or she simply stopped listening. ‘So, Elene, what do you think could this mysterious other factor at play have been, in your opinion?’
‘Could there have been… could he have been manipulated by someone else, to carry out whatever…’ she paused for half a beat, ‘dastardly deeds they had in mind?’
‘Hmm.’ Titania’s brow had creased once more. ‘It would be most troubling if that were the case. Cait-Sìth, you will have to forgive me if I no longer require your response on this facet. A more pressing question comes to mind.’
‘Of course, my Queen,’ said Cait-Sìth.
Titania stared down at the courtroom. ‘Ursa Carpenter,’ she announced.
‘…Hi?’ said Ursa, in a very small voice.
‘Did you see anything at play, while on your assignment, that may have influenced Montparnasse’s behaviour?’
‘Uh. That’s a bit difficult to answer, because, like, I’d never met him beforehand so I just assumed he’d always been an asshole. Um, but, he did seem really freaked out by what was going on in the labyrinth, and the Minotaur it created. Or attracted. At one point he’d gone off with Alkahest and Brian, the manager, and when we’d found him he’d got so freaked out that he wiped his own memory?’
This, Ursa saw, provoked a new reaction from the Queen of the Summer Court. She’d already gotten something of an idea of what Titania was like – regal, self-assured, certain that the respect shown to her was more than deserved – and while there had been a few cracks in her composure, this was something else. Titania almost, almost took a step back from the podium.
Elene’s head was flicking back and forth between Queen and client. That couldn’t possibly be the truth! Montparnasse wasn’t like that! Lying, she wanted to say, will only hurt your case, Ursa!
Instead, she took a bit of, say, conservatorship over Ursa’s defense, and cast Zone of Truth beneath her.
‘Yeah, and him doing so was weird and also just really unhelpful,’ continued Ursa, unaware of the spell and apparently already telling the truth. ‘Because we had no idea what was waiting for us in the labyrinth, and he’d already seen it but he couldn’t tell us anything because he’d removed it from his head. Said it was to preserve his sanity. Which looking back is kinda sus because I saw the minotaur and I’m still sane. I think? Wait, Elene did you just cast…?’
‘Hmm,’ said Titania again, though this time it sounded less a hmm of consideration and more a hmm of derogation. ‘Could this not be the malign influence of the Demon with him? Alkahest?’
Ursa actually laughed. ‘No, no, he doesn’t have any brain powers. He was trying to do some blood magic at the time, but I think it was a bit too tough for him because he hasn’t done it since.’
‘There’s more than one way to influence someone; it needn’t be down to “brain powers”,’ said Titania.
‘Well, I suppose, but he and Montparnasse didn’t really interact all that much. Not that I saw, anyway. I mean I wasn’t watching them 24/7. I know that Alkahest ate some meatballs at some point? I don’t know what Montparnasse was doing then.’
‘You went straight to having lunch with the Demon, then?’
‘What? Ohmygod, no. Come on. I just heard about it from him later. It wasn’t like that.’
Titania leaned down on the podium. ‘You’ve been chatting a lot, then? Perhaps getting your stories straight?’
‘No! God. You can read my texts; we don’t talk about anything like that. Actually maybe you shouldn’t read our texts. But like, there’s–‘
‘Elene?’ said Titania.
Elene straightened up.
‘Could you bring me Ursa Carpenter’s telephone?’
Elene shot a poisonous look at Ursa. But she complied.
‘Oh god,’ said Ursa. ‘Shit. Shit. Uh. Hey, uh, my phone autocorrects Cait-Sìth to, uh, something else, so please ignore that, and uh…’
Titania plucked the phone from Elene’s upstretched hand, and produced something akin to a jeweller’s loupe in her other hand. This she held to one eye as, with a level of finesse that shouldn’t have been possible for a woman of her stature, she scrolled through Ursa’s chatlogs like an entomologist checking if a particular specimen were venomous.
Then she took a breath. ‘Since Ursa Carpenter has so generously offered to let us read her text messages, it should be only fair that both the defense and prosecution get to look as well.’
The phone was passed around, as all of Ursa and Alkahest’s conversations were taken in and analysed. Cait-Sìth in particular’s shoulders grew stiff as he pawed at the screen.
‘Oh, god,’ said Ursa again.
‘That,’ said Elene, still glowering at her, ‘was a very silly thing to suggest.’
‘So I just want to clarify!’ called Ursa, as the murmurs in the courtroom grew loud again. ‘I never actually told Alkahest that I’d charmed him, so he might think–‘
‘Who the fuck is Catshit?’ growled Cait-Sìth.
‘That’s autocorrect, I told you,’ said Ursa, quickly. ‘My phone doesn’t like diacritics. Anyway Alkahest might think he did it but that’s only because he doesn’t know about what exactly the charm was. That’s how, uh, brain stuff works sometimes I think.’
It wasn’t a exactly a lie, but creative hopscotch across the truth wasn’t ideal when addressing Titania, Queen of Earth and Daylight, near-omnipotent ruler of the Summer Fae.
Elene jabbed her in the side.
‘Hey–‘ Ursa began, before realising Elene had just cast a spell on her – powerful magic to Enhance Ability, and hopefully honey her locution. Afterwards, she went back to focusing on her Zone of Truth, which had faded only slightly thanks to the presence of Titania, her deity.
If said deity realised too, said nothing. Elene desperately hoped the Queen hadn’t noticed, feeling her heart beat even faster at her own seditious feelings.
‘So, uh, yeah,’ concluded Ursa.
‘Ursa Carpenter,’ came Titania’s response; slow, deliberate, like a shovel biting into earth. Then, a sudden spilling of a question, almost giddy. ‘How do you feel about bad boys?’
Ursa felt, more than heard, a ‘Bwugh?’ sound come from her throat.
There was a shadchanit smirk on the Queen’s face. ‘Why don’t you tell me about your relationship with Azoth Alkahest.’
Ursa almost began to vibrate. Tell me, the Queen had said. Not tell the court. ‘Um. We. We’re friends? I think? Umm. We just texted a bit, after the Ikea stuff? Ummm. Yeah!!’
Nobody seemed willing to move on and put her out of her misery. So Ursa just kept going. ‘I mean, it’s pretty obvious from my texts that I’m, uh, super into him. And I told him that. And I did kiss him. And then he sent me flowers? But that doesn’t necessarily mean anything. Does it? Do you think he– wait, that’s not relevant is it. I shouldn’t be asking the Queen of Summer Fae for dating advice. Should I? Oh god Zone of Truth is horrible–‘
‘My Queen,’ came Cait-Sìth’s burr, low and menacing. ‘May I offer some thoughts on this new evidence we’ve just received? Putting aside, of course, the badness of any particular boys and the lack of respect shown to myself within?’
‘I don’t see why not,’ replied the Queen. ‘It’s publicly available information, after all – thank you again for your concession, Ursa Carpenter.’
‘I don’t think you said thanks before,’ said Ursa, but mostly under her breath. Elene gave her another jab to the ribs regardless.
The cat was speaking. ‘Looking through this correspondence between Ursa Carpenter and the Demon Azoth Alkahest, I am becoming increasingly certain that I was correct in my initial assessment – that the two are in collaboration with one another. However, what I hadn’t realised, until this point, is that their relationship is not one of strictly business. The business of murdering Summer Court members, that is.’
‘Oh, this is bad,’ muttered Elene. ‘I thought we might have something to use there but he’s turning it back on us–‘
‘Considering that Ursa Carpenter has been lying to us all this time regarding not just the circumstances of Montparnasse’s demise–‘
Elene’s ears twitched. ‘Wait that’s conjecture!’ she said, but nobody was listening. Cait-Sìth continued unabashed.
‘–But also her motivations for her involvement, I am of the opinion that the most fitting punishment for Ursa Carpenter would be not death… but to have her memories of Alkahest, and her other friends, erased from her mind.’
The court went still. Silent.
Queen Titania’s head tilted, just slightly.
‘This is really bad,’ hissed Elene again. ‘It’s poetic and everything.’
Ursa’s mouth had dropped open. ‘…What?’ she said, and her voice was very small.
Titania’s voice was anything but. Though, it had lost some of its regal sharpness, replaced with something closer to a glimmering edge of gleefully witnessed scandal.
‘Ooh,’ she said. ‘That’s juicy.’
She straightened up, fully queenlike once again. ‘An excellent suggestion, Cait-Sìth. I shall add it to the list of outcomes of this trial. With that, shall we move onto character witnesses? I’d like to discuss just how deserving Ursa Carpenter is of a given severity of retribution.’
Ursa felt herself pulled into a huddle with Elene.
‘We’re on the back foot now,’ said the rabbitfolk. ‘The Queen has just picked a particularly Parnassian punishment as the prime possibility; she has a predilection for poetic penalties, and if she prefers a path she’ll pilot the progression of proceedings down her path of preference.’
Ursa actually snapped out of her dread for a second to raise an eyebrow.
‘Apologies,’ added Elene. ‘I alliterate when I’m anxious.’
‘Do we have any ideas on how to change her mind?’
Elene didn’t shrug. She didn’t actually move at all.
‘What about Montparnasse himself, then?’ continued Ursa. ‘Because I swear the guy I met wouldn’t have been this popular. Is there anything we could do, like, magically? To get some answers?’
This got at least a head-tilt from Elene. ‘There is a spell I know. To pull stories from the aether. I can cast it but once. So you’d need to be certain Montparnasse himself would be the right thing to ask about.’
Ursa wasn’t sure. If anything, this whole business was teaching her that being certain was probably a bad thing.
‘Maybe… maybe not Montparnasse, but the thing he was there for?’
‘To keep Alkahest at bay?’
‘No, no. It seemed way more like he wanted the bones himself than just to stop Alkahest…’
There came a bang from behind her. The assembled court turned to see what all the fuss was about. Ursa didn’t bother; hoping that her friends would come kick the door in was wishful thinking, and would only make things harder.
‘Ahem,’ said a voice to the court in general.
Now Ursa did turn, and saw the old woman in the orange shawl from earlier; the one who’d mentioned having ‘surprises in store’. Ursa cringed back in apprehension.
‘Summer Court!’ announced the old woman. ‘My Queen,’ she added, and offered a rickety little curtsy to Titania. ‘There are friends of Ursa Carpenter fighting their way here to the trial!’
What?
The Court seemed to agree with Ursa’s assessment. ‘What?’ came a few mutters.
‘Against who?’
‘What for?’
‘Are we the baddies?’
‘Yes!’ continued the old woman. ‘They have had buildings collapse upon them on their way here. Explosions at service stations! Someone even tipped off a Demon mob boss to their location, and he tried to crush them under some sort of armored pantechnicon!’
‘Good lord!’
‘Explosions?!’
‘What, with like a sofa in the back?’
‘Whatever her story is,’ concluded the old woman, ‘There are those out there fighting tooth and nail to get her back. To rescue her.’
With that, she shot a withering glare at Cait-Sìth and sat down. The murmuring continued all around her.
‘What are they doing, coming after me?’ Ursa didn’t register she’d said it aloud.
Queen Titania took a small breath, and in an instant the Summer Court was silent again. ‘I will have order in my court,’ she said. It wasn’t a command, just a statement of imminent fact. ‘Now. Ursa Carpenter. Who do you believe will tell us who you are?’
⁂
‘Sir, are you absolutely certain there’s nothing the Institute can do?’
Cepheus had gone for a debriefing with Director Brynner after staggering back from his confrontation with Nora, Merlin, and Alkahest on their way out of the city. He’d had to walk slowly after Merlin’s memento–groin-attack.
Brynner was hunched over his desk, fingers steepled, slowly shaking his head in such an understated motion that it almost looked like a tremor. ‘It is quite beyond our remit. Were she still employed here, perhaps there’d be a way. But had she still been employed here it wouldn’t have come to this, would it?’
‘What about Nora and Merlin?’ protested Cepheus. ‘They’re still employed here. Couldn’t we use their presence as an excuse to–‘
‘Therein lies the problem, Cepheus,’ said Brynner, cutting him off. ‘It would be an excuse. One which the Summer Court would absolutely see through.’
Cepheus said nothing. Brynner’s ticking sound as he thought was the only noise in the room.
Then, the sound of a slight breeze parting blades of grass. The colours in the room deepened; a scent of cherries and citrus and sun tan lotion bloomed in the air. Brynner straightened up as, at the very corner of his mahogany desk, a tiny flourish of leaves began to sprout.
‘Your Majesty,’ observed Brynner.
Cepheus scrambled and whipped his head around toward the door, but instead of Queen Titania standing there in the office, he instead saw a little window in the air. It was like a reflection in a shallow pool, and within it, Cepheus could see the inexorable gaze of the Summer Queen.
‘We are about to conduct the “character witness” portion of the trial,’ said Titania, without any preamble. ‘Ursa Carpenter has requested that you speak honestly on your opinion of her.’
Brynner had gotten up from the desk. ‘By all means, use my office,’ he said as he passed Cepheus on his way out. ‘It’s quite within your remit to do so.’
Cepheus blinked at the door as it clicked shut, then turned his attention once more to the scrying window. He couldn’t see Ursa anywhere; Queen Titania seemed to occupy the entire world on the other side. But he had to assume that Ursa would be there, and – for now – safe, and listening.
‘My opinion of Ursa,’ he repeated. ‘Well, uh…’
⁂
Ursa watched as the conjured image of Cepheus began to speak. He kept glancing off to the sides, and shifting uncomfortably in whatever chair he was in.
When Queen Titania had asked her to select someone as a character witness, she’d panicked a bit herself – surely it shouldn’t be up to the defendant to pick someone? Obviously she’d pick someone totally biased toward her innocence, right?
Or was that what the court expected? If she picked someone too obviously on her side, that’d be as good as admitting her guilt! Wouldn’t it?
So, she’d asked for Cepheus, since, as her (former) manager, he could probably be thought of as reliably neutral.
She might have overthought it a little.
‘…but I think she’s a good kid,’ Cepheus was saying. ‘Does her best to get along with people. Owns it and apologises when she messes up. Tries to pay attention to people.
‘Truth be told, I wasn’t entirely sure at first what the Director saw in her. Seemed like she wasn’t, uh, built for this line of work, if you catch my meaning? Not incapable, just… a little green, maybe. Or a little pink.
‘Despite that initial worry, though, she’d been a good member of the team. Wish she hadn’t had to leave in such, er, messy circumstances.’
Cait-Sìth pounced. ‘Could you tell the court a wee bit about said “messy circumstances”? I’d be curious to get your opinion on why she’d turn her back on you all in such a way.’
The image of Cepheus shifted uncomfortably. ‘Well, uhm, I used the word “messy” just because had to quit so suddenly and didn’t even–‘
‘Had to quit, did she?’ said Cait-Sìth. ‘So it’s your opinion she had no choice but to leave your organisation?’
‘I wouldn’t say–‘
‘Do you not think it possible that Ursa Carpenter has been playing the role of the defenseless waif to deceive and manipulate you?’
‘Hey, I never said she was defenseless,’ said Cepheus, his voice growing just a few calories hotter. Cait-Sìth’s needling was working. ‘It’s more that our position as a neutral party is one she might struggle with. She can be stubborn. But so are the rest of the team–‘
‘I’m not asking to debate her incompetence, Mr. Cepheus; that’s quite plain for the court to see without my help.’
At this Elene threw up her hands. ‘Come on, Cait, how can she be both ineptly incompetent and a master manipulator? You’re attacking ad-hominem!’
Her staccato alliteration betrayed how nervous this was making her.
‘Of course she can be both,’ Cait-Sìth said, perhaps a little smugly, or perhaps just like a cat. ‘And it’s a very dangerous combination.’
Cepheus’ image cleared its throat. ‘Is there anything you need my input on?’ he asked, unblinking, after a deep breath. His jaw continued to move of its own accord when he’d finished speaking.
‘Nothing for me,’ said Cait-Sìth, brightly. ‘Though I’d be quite interested to speak to Director Brynner himself if he’s available? I have some questions about his hiring process.’
One of Elene’s feet began to tap out a rhythm on the floor.
Tap-thump, tap-tap-tap, tap-tap-tap, tap-tap-tap-tap, thump-thump-thump, tap-thump-tap-tap, tap.
Ursa didn’t know Morse code.
With an indulging look from Queen Titania – who presumably did know Morse code – the vision of Cepheus blurred and shifted to the lamps that passed for Director Brynner’s eyes. He’d positioned himself back in his office, Cepheus having excused himself, and now stood with his back to the windowscape he was so fond of so that all of Middlemarch was behind him as he inclined his head slightly.
Ursa hadn’t quite realised until then, but Charlton Brynner had the heart of a showman ticking away in that brass chest of his. Or ticking away somewhere, anyway.
‘I’m honored that you’d consider my opinion worthwhile,’ the Director was saying. ‘What would you like to know?’
Cait-Sìth got right into it. ‘Director Brynner. Could you talk us through your decision to hire Ursa Carpenter, considering our previous speaker already confessed he wasn’t sure why you did, and considering all that’s happened as a result of that decision?’
Brynner didn’t respond.
‘Director Brynner?’ prompted Cait-Sìth.
‘Oh, apologies,’ said the Director. ‘I wasn’t sure if you were finished.’
‘I was.’ The cat’s voice was impatient. His tail lashed back and forth.
‘Good,’ said Brynner. ‘I wouldn’t want to be interrupted.’
Cait-Sìth said nothing.
‘Now,’ continued Brynner, ‘I hired Ursa Carpenter after an incident led to her being exposed to Institute field work and she displayed a surprising aptitude for it. Obviously as a Changeling, she was already aware of the Caliber Institute, but knew little of the sort of duties we hold beyond our bureaucratic roles in immigration to the Fuclrum and the like.
‘She has an ability to think on her feet, and talk her way into and out of things. She does her best to find peaceable solutions to challenging situations where such solutions may not be immediately apparent. She’s stubborn enough to stand by her beliefs.
‘But beyond that, she has showed an ability to befriend and work with members of the Institute that had previously been considered “difficult” at best. The reason I hired her is that I believe she is something of a “secret ingredient” that brings out the best in many of the Institute’s other assets.’
Cait-Sìth’s tail still moved like a metronome. ‘It sounds like you have quite the considerable bias toward her,’ he observed.
‘I’d have such a bias towards anyone I’d hire.’
‘So you’re just talking up your employees, then.’
Brynner’s eyes flickered in mock bemusement. ‘But Ursa isn’t an employee of the Institute.’
Ursa’s vision had begun to wobble a little. She’d been totally unprepared for that; thinking more that Brynner would be… what? Angry? Cold? She wiped at her eyes.
‘If there’s nothing else for now from Cait-Sìth,’ said Elene, seizing the opportunity. ‘I just have one question for Director Brynner. Would you say that, despite the “messy” circumstances we’re all aware of, Ursa Carpenter – having captured the hearts and minds of your Institute employees – is a good person?’
Ursa finally met Brynner’s eye, though she knew he couldn’t actually see her in the courtroom. If he’d had a mouth, he might have been smiling.
‘Unequivocally.’
⁂
The car had been left behind to pullulate parking tickets on the side of the road. They’d triangulated the trial’s location by how green Merlin’s face became with whatever mana-sickness was afflicting him.
Now, Merlin, Nora, and Alkahest stood before a door.
Nora produced the key that the old woman had dropped.
In unison, the three took a breath.
⁂
The done thing, in a quiet room, is to observe that you “could have heard a pin drop”.
The thing is, though, that a pin hitting the floor does have quite a distinctive sound; a kind of resonant ping that stands apart from voices or the general shuffle and tamp of human life. There are lots of rooms where you’d easily hear a pin drop.
There are also times when a dropping pin creates a quiet room instead, particularly if said pin was formerly in something like a grenade. Or if it’s not a pin but a PIN, and the room in general is comfortable with fraud.
To clarify: you don’t need silence for a tiny sound to stand out; not if it’s important enough.
There came a click from the door at the rear of the court.
Ursa spun as a hush bloomed across the collected Fae, and saw the door booted open by a Demon in black and white.
He marched into the courtroom and pulled a shotgun from his jacket – white leather, damn, thought Ursa. Flanking him on either side were Nora and Merlin.
Nora had her usual expression of determined impassivity, while Merlin’s face held a mix of red fury and green queasiness that sort of made him look like a mango.
Ursa couldn’t believe it. She couldn’t believe they were actually here.
Cait-Sìth skidded into the rescuers’ path.
‘What do you think you’re doing, barging into–‘
Alkahest didn’t break stride. The blast from his shotgun sent the cat flying backwards toward the podium, though it picked itself up immediately afterwards without so much as a trickle of blood.
‘Let her go,’ said Alkahest. To Queen Titania.
‘She is on trial, Azoth Alkahest.’
‘Alright then.’
With that, Alkahest shot forwards with his open mouth full of shadows, and seemed to turn inside out, becoming a dark silhouette in the air that flew upwards towards Titania’s face, swords drawn.
And bounced. He was swatted downwards, though Queen Titania didn’t even move. The glassy floor cracked under the impact. What lay there was Alkahest’s regular, humanoid body.
‘No no no,’ said Ursa, and reached out with her magic to try and send a Healing Word to him. He’d come all this way, he couldn’t die, not now, not like this.
The magic didn’t come. Ursa remembered that her magic was sealed away, and slowly it dawned on her that throughout all of this, she’d been in her Changeling base form. Grey skin. White hair. Blank eyes.
She suddenly felt, despite being less colourful than ever, almost as big and noticeable as Titania herself. She tried to burrow down in her seat.
Merlin and Nora were at her side. They didn’t seem to care that – for a Changeling – she was the equivalent of naked.
‘We’re here to bring you back,’ said Nora. She nodded towards the dazed Alkahest. ‘Him too, I suppose.’
‘I didn’t think you’d follow me,’ said Ursa. It took her a few tries.
Merlin snorted. ‘You didn’t make it easy to. What were you thinking?’
‘I… I had a plan. Didn’t want anyone to, uh…’
Merlin was staring up at her. ‘I already told you, us misfits have got to stick together.’
Ursa’s throat didn’t want to work, so she stayed silent.
Queen Titania had leaned across the podium, and began to speak in the direction of the Demon she’d just deflected in the air.
‘You make demands of the Queen of Earth and Daylight?’ she said, voice the first spark before a wildfire. ‘You arrived unbidden and univited, you kick down the door of my trialgrounds, you engage in a direct assault on my prosecution, and then you have the audacity to make demands of me?!’
With each word, the pressure that seemed to be weighing down on Alkahest grew heavier and heavier. He could no longer lift his head.
‘I will have order in my court.’
Alkahest’s bones began to crack.
‘My Queen!’
It was Elene’s voice. The leporine lawyer’s ears were flat, but she stood up from her seat. ‘These three are valuable character witnesses for this section of the trial. If you would permit it, I’d like to interview each of them?’
The Queen didn’t react, though Alkahest seemed to remain intact for now.
Another voice joined Elene’s, from the back. ‘They have been through quite a trial themselves to get here! It would be… anticlimactic to turn them away.’
Merlin practically did a spit take, which was worrying considering the sickness in his face. ‘You!’ he cried, pointing a finger at the old woman with the orange shawl. ‘You tried to fucking kill us! You dropped a cinema on us!!’
This prompted a bit of shuffling about in the stands, and an outburst from the feline prosecution. ‘Wait, wait,’ said Cait-Sìth, arching his back. ‘Mrs. Levitt. Did you set up obstacles for their story of reaching here, just to undermine my case?!’
It was very quiet for a moment. If one rolled high enough on a perception check, it might have just been possible to hear the old woman mutter ‘That’s right, you little bastard.’
‘Very well,’ said Queen Titania, silencing the apparent feud. ‘But the new arrivals are to act properly as members of the trial. They will speak when addressed, and behave themselves otherwise. Until called for, they will sit down.’
Merlin and Nora found themselves compelled into chairs near Ursa, with Merlin’s nausea suddenly receding now he was here on the Queen’s permission. Alkahest stayed in his little crater, but at least no longer seemed to be experiencing invisible weight.
Elene waited to see if Titania had any further edicts, then turned to Ursa’s rescuers. ‘So! If the, er, Human could give us a brief word on her opinion of Ursa Carpenter first?’
‘What?’ said Nora. ‘Oh. Now?’
Elene nodded approvingly.
Nora slowly got back to her feet. ‘She’s… better to work with than most people.’ She sat back down.
Elene blinked a few times. Her voice was perhaps a bit manic. ‘And…. the Gnome, then?’
Merlin’s voice was steadier. ‘Ursa’s my friend. She’s always insisted that she was, even when I was just doing web design for her. She’s stubborn like that. I think, usually when someone’s so obstinate about a particular label like “friends”, it either means they’re faking it or being totally sincere. And I used to think she was faking it.’
He walked around to the front of the court, where he could see Ursa along with the assembled Fae. ‘I realised over the course of us working together that she wasn’t insincere. When she handed herself in, I realised – based on how angry I was – how much I value that friendship. Plus it wasn’t even her, it was Alkahest.’
‘Merlin!!’ Ursa shrieked.
Nora raised a hand. ‘Yeah I’ll back that up actually. It’s all his fault and she’s taking the fall for him.’
‘Nora!!’
Queen Titania glowered at them. She almost seemed… disappointed. ‘And why do you think Ursa Carpenter would do that?’
Merlin and Nora both spoke at once.
‘Because she’s an idiot.’
‘Because she has shit taste.’
Elene cleared her throat. ‘Then… one last question. We’ve learned that the two of you met Montparnasse as well. What was your opinion of him?’
Again, a simultaneous response.
‘He was an asshole,’ said Merlin.
‘Just a real piece of shit,’ said Nora.
Elene nodded, then hefted her aluminium baseball bat. She addressed the court at large. ‘I believe that Ursa Carpenter, considering all we know of her character and behaviours, is indeed taking the fall here for another!’
‘Elene, no!‘ hissed Ursa.
‘But!’ continued Elene, ‘I don’t believe that the one responsible here is Azoth Alkahest, as the prosecution would have you believe! Remember how Ursa Carpenter’s picture of Montparnasse is entirely different to all of ours? And now the others corroborate it. She is being framed. There is more at play! And I will show you.’
She swung her bat at the floor. It struck, emitting a humming resonance like fingers on the rim of a wineglass, and Elene held it up to cast Legend Lore.
The humming resolved into a voice.
‘The labyrinthine bones are an engine of what’s to come, honed and held to the Fulcrum’s throat. The Tenth Muse will suck the marrow from them, and in doing so she promises that tomorrow will belong to those who stand beside her. Already, one with a mind of melted snow has been made martyr for her cause.‘
Cait-Sìth spat. ‘Meaningless prophecy. What’s that got to do with anything?!’
‘A mind of melted snow,’ repeated Titania. She was leaning over the podium again, only now with a bright, eager light in her eyes. ‘Azoth Alkahest. You will tell us what happened with Montparnasse.’
‘Yeah, I guess I will,’ said Alkahest. He’d managed to sit up, but was still on the floor. ‘So… I went to look for some bones based on a tip from a friend. I arrived to find Montparnasse also sniffing around for them. He eventually tried to charm me into killing the others there, but lucky for me Ursa had already charmed me into chilling out a little. Not sure what with.
‘Weird how her milder spell stood up to his, but hey. Once he moved to attack some vanilla mortals, Ursa had to drop the spell on me to freeze him, so I tore the guy’s head off with my teeth. Does that about sum it up?’
There was a hissing from Cait-Sìth. ‘I knew it! I knew you were responsible!’ There might still have been some buckshot in his fur.
By then, Alkahest had finally gotten back up to his feet. ‘Yeah, I never said I wasn’t so no prizes there. You guys already sent shit to come kill me, anyway, so why are we even still discussing this?’
‘Because I want to know why, Azoth Alkahest!’ said the Queen. Ursa might have expected such words to be angry – especially considering Titania’s reaction so far – but instead, she sounded more like she was goading him.
Alkahest met the Queen’s eyes.
‘I did it to save her life. I’m not willing to let her throw that away. Because I love her.’
Ursa practically yelped. Despite the seelie seal on her magic, she felt herself turning pink again.
‘So,’ said the Queen of Earth and Daylight, stepping away from her podium to tower over the little Demon like a wickerman. ‘You disrupt my court. You bring violence to my subjects. You undermine the whole reason for us being here. All to make a declaration of your “love”?’
There was a slam.
Titania had sat on the floor, cross-legged. ‘Damn it, Alkahest, you utter bastard,’ she said. ‘You’ve already done way too much shit to pull a stunt like this and get away with it. Fuck. What do I even fucking say to that, you shit?’
Alkahest wobbled a bit, but stayed upright. The collected Summer Fae glanced among themselves, unsure of where things stood.
‘My Queen, kill him!’ shouted a sulfurous Cait-Sìth. ‘He killed Montparnasse, he admits it! Someone has to be held accountable!!’
Suddenly Ursa’s voice was working again. ‘Then… then it’s whoever made the bones, not us!’
Queen Titania slipped back into her regal composure for a moment, even sat as he was like a child at assembly. ‘Elene.’
‘Yes, my Queen?’
‘Do you have it within you to Speak with Dead for us?’
‘Yes, my Queen.’
With a flourish from her bat, the room dimmed and shadows deepened. With Queen Titania’s power in the air, no earthly remains were necessary – a spectral figure lingered in the air between Ursa and Elene.
(Or perhaps the spell had found Montparnasse’s head as a focus, if it was still somehow in Alkahest’s shadow-stuff. Probably not though.)
Queen Titania leaned toward the shade’s glow like an anglerfish. ‘Dear, sweet, departed Montparnasse… I have a question for you. Were you working entirely within my interests when you were searching for the bones?’
The spirit of Montparnasse shimmered. Shivered. His voice drifted into the room. ‘I…’ it began.
Its head looked down with the barest hint of eyes. It floated above Elene’s Zone of Truth.
It struggled. Tried to stay silent. But the two spells together, plus the presence of a being on Titania’s level, were much too strong for a mere shade to withstand.
‘No,’ it said.
‘Where were you going to take them?’
The shade of Montparnasse looked up towards its Queen. Tried again to do anything but answer. Flickered in place, like it would discorporate entirely if it could and cease to be, rather than answer this question.
‘…Lopodite,’ it said.
Titania closed her eyes like she’d received a diagnosis.
The shade screamed. Then, it did discorporate.
‘Montparnasse is posthumously banished from the Summer Court,’ announced Titania, getting up in full Queenly wrath. ‘He is excommunicated. And he is never to be spoken of again on pain of following in his footsteps.’
She turned down to address Ursa and her cavalry. ‘As for you. Calling upon true love as a defense is bold, even for one such as you, Azoth Alkahest. I would see you prove your conviction.’
Ursa felt herself lifted into the air. Her hands were growing a little Back-to-the-Future. ‘Uh,’ she tried to say.
Queen Titania was still talking. ‘There is something of a ritual in Changeling culture. One wishing to court another must find each of their potential partner’s personae in the world, and must gain their blessing before any union can proceed. It’s an archaic custom, but then, so are claims of true love.’
Alkahest spun to see the fading Ursa. Their eyes met.
‘I would assist you, Azoth Alkahest,’ continued the Queen. ‘I shall place Ursa Carpenter’s personae in the world around us. Find them, and prove your love is true. Other participants of this trial, you may help or hinder as you see fit. You have one hour.’
Her hand lashed out and struck the massive bell.
Ursa vanished. Alkahest had already sprinted from the room, the bass echo of the bell following in his wake.
⁂
By the time Merlin and Nora caught up with him, Alkahest had resorted to licking random objects to try and taste if they were important to his search. He had his tongue on the keypad of a cash machine as they approached.
‘Ugh. No!’ he said, then ran over to lick a lamp post, grimacing again at the whole unsanitary experience.
‘Do you… need help?’ Nora hazarded.
‘If not we won’t force you,’ said Merlin.
They’d had a brief discussion on whether they could just leave Alkahest to get destroyed by Titania, now that Ursa was apparently off the hook. In the end they’d come to help because, should the Demon die, the car ride home with Ursa would probably be a bit akward.
‘I’m freakin’ out, you guys!’ yelled Alkahest. ‘Gods I don’t even know how many personae she’s got!’
‘You sound like a bad potential partner,’ observed Merlin.
‘I know!‘ Alkahest said. He spotted, off to the side of the pavement, what appeared to be some dog poo with a footprint in it. Gingerly, he stuck out his tongue and braced himself.
There was a slap across his face.
He looked down at Merlin, who’d leapt up two whole feet to hit him. ‘Ow. Okay, uh, I probably needed that. Thanks.’
Merlin slapped him again.
‘Ow! I’m okay already, jeeze!’
After about half a second, Nora gave him a slap as well.
‘Nora!’ said Alkahest. ‘What was that one for!?’
Nora thought for a moment. ‘Teambuilding,’ she said.
Alkahest rubbed at his cheek. ‘Alright. Well. I figure if I can find regular Ursa, she can tell us about the others?’
‘I’ll see if I can find them with her IP,’ said Merlin, pulling out his laptop. ‘I assume they all have channels and that they all upload off the same one.’
‘Will they be on this world’s internet?’
Another voice joined them. ‘The Queen has inserted them into the world. They’ll be here.’
It was Elene. She rested her baseball bat on one shoulder. ‘I came to help. Didn’t you find any yet? You only have 45 minutes left.’
‘I know that,’ growled Alkahest.
‘I can Locate Creature,’ offered Elene. ‘Though it would only find her base form, I think.’
‘No that’s great!’
The four of them took off running.
⁂
Cait-Sìth waited outside the café with Ursa inside. He could see her through the window, alone, typing away at a laptop covered with stickers. She seemed to be in a bit of a fugue state. It didn’t matter.
As long as the Demon couldn’t get to her.
In fact, here he was now, with the Gnome and the Human – and Elene – in tow.
‘Alright, stop right fucking there or I’m gonna do worse than a fucking shotgun,’ said Cait-Sìth.
Alkahest kept sprinting towards the café. The others, though, slowed a little. The Human pulled a gun.
‘Alright! You wanna fucking go then?!’
Alkahest did indeed want to go. ‘Can you guys keep him busy?!’ he shouted.
Cait-Sìth snarled. He prepared to shapeshift; a bear or a dire wolf or some Holocene lion, something that would snap the Demon in two before he could–
An explosion detonated in Cait-Sìth’s side, and Alkahest simply leapt over him and threw open the door to the café, bolting inside.
Cait-Sìth made to pursue, but another Firebolt hit him, this time from Nora instead of Merlin. At least Elene didn’t seem to be attacking, though she stood to one side, ready to support the other two with healing magic.
With ears flat and tail straight up, Cait-Sìth called on his strongest reserves of magic and cast a spell.
A swirling mass of water suddenly burst forth from the cracks in the pavement flags, and began to roil around in a terrible Maelstrom. It swept over Nora and Merlin, both of whom were sent flying from their feet and washed away like spiders round a plughole. The tide of the Maelstrom rose as Cait-Sìth forced more power into it.
Elene’s bat came out, as she held on to a nearby railing, and Nora caught hold. Merlin, too, had managed to get a grip on a lamp post.
‘If my laptop has gotten wet, I swear,’ he muttered.
He stretched out his fingers, watching the tattoos on his arms flash and ripple. They were healing remarkably well; it must have been the magic. Couldn’t have been because he’d been taking care of it, not after the day he’d had.
A massive With Bolt, of the same calibre as the one he’d almost killed Alkahest with, exploded from his hand and hammered into Cait-Sìth.
The waters receded. Cait-Sìth flew back toward the café window, but escaped through one of his little green portals before he could collide with it and get shredded in the glass.
All of this was going on outside while Alkahest slammed both hands down at Ursa’s table. The rest of the café was magically empty, probably thanks to Titania.
She looked up at him vaguely, then her eyes focused.
‘Ursa!’ said Alkahest, frantically. ‘Ursa, do you know who I am?’
‘What? Yeah of course. What’s going on out–‘
‘There isn’t time! I need your blessing, like the Queen said!’
Ursa’s attention shifted back to him, and she smiled. ‘Of course you have my blessing,’ she said. Her cheeks flushed a little. ‘Should we… kiss?’
‘Mm, better not,’ said Alkahest. ‘I just licked quite a few cash machines.’
‘…What?’
‘There’s no time, Ursa! Your other personae – I’m 99% sure Abadallion is you, but how many–‘
The urgency caught on. ‘Oh. Yeah! Abadallion is one! Look for, uh… abandoned buildings? Overgrown ones? And then there’ll be Saubra, who you can probably find in a gym?’
Her hands had grown translucent.
‘Oh damn,’ she said, more calmly than expected. ‘I was hoping I could–‘
Ursa vanished.
⁂
Outside, Merlin had found a recent upload on a YouTube channel belonging to one Abadallion. It had been in a hollowed-out building with a view of the Thames and several distinctive buildings, so they’d been able to figure out the location pretty handily. They were on the way now.
Nora’s brow was furrowed. When Alkahest had told them the names of the other personae, “Saubra” had prickled some sense of familiarity in her mind, but she just couldn’t quite place it yet.
‘Oh shit, look,’ said Alkahest. They were actually pretty close to the houses of parliament, and had come to the remains of a dinky little building that had apparently burned down. Inside, a darkly-clad figure stood with their head down.
Heedless of how it might look, Alkahest skidded down the path they were on and ran right up to the figure. There were only 20 minutes left.
‘Abadallion?!’ he tried.
The figure’s head stayed bowed, but their eyes took him in. ‘Mhmm?’ they said.
‘I, uh… I need your blessing. For Ursa?’
‘We’ve discussed it, yes,’ said Abadallion. ‘Go ahead.’
‘Oh,’ said Alkahest. It had gone more easily than expected. ‘Thank you?’
‘Mhmm. Thanks for the pipes, by the way.’
Abadallion vanished.
Alkahest climbed from the building’s shell, and jogged on the spot as he spoke. ‘Okay, so, we just gotta–‘
‘Saubra!!’ said Nora, quite suddenly. ‘I remember now!’
⁂
They ran west, away from the river. Nora explained as they went.
‘My sister is a bit of a health nut. And she sends me videos and things. And one time, a few months back, she sent this one by – I think – Ursa’s persona Saubra. It was about some “hot yoga with fermented tea” fad. And there was a gym that did that, and wrestling classes in the same room?’
It sounded totally made up. But, sure enough, the four soon arrived at a sign that read:
Kombucha-Lucha
Merlin’s fist clenched. ‘Why hadn’t I heard of this…?’ he mumbled.
‘I’m going in,’ said Alkahest.
Inside, instead of the usual staff at reception, there was a tall woman with tanned skin and a boxer’s physique.
‘Saubra?’ asked Alkahest.
‘You,’ said Saubra.
‘…Hi. I am indeed me, and have been for quite some time.’ Alkahest found himself returning to his habit of talking like a sardonic prick. He knew he was nervous, but come on.
Saubra slammed her elbow down on the reception desk, and held her hand open. ‘Come on then, if you want a blessing.’
‘Arm wrestling? Seriously?’
Saubra just kept on holding out her arm.
He approached her, then paused. ‘No,’ he said, slowly. ‘I’ve literally just made the decision that I don’t need to resort to force at the first hurdle. And Ursa was the one who helped me realise that. If I try to beat you, I’d be ignoring what I learned from her.’
Saubra was smiling.
‘You can’t get someone’s approval by force, anyway,’ said Alkahest. ‘Fuck, that was the test, wasn’t it?’
‘Sort of. I did kinda want to hurt your hand because you were talking like a sarcastic asshole who’s too cool to take things seriously. You know that’s why she didn’t like you at first, right?’
‘She didn’t like me at first?’
‘You can have my blessing. And she’s going to kiss you properly next time, so brush your teeth.’
Saubra vanished.
⁂
The bass peal of the bell rang out again, and Ursa stood intact before Alkahest. She ran up and threw her arms around him. He squeezed her back.
‘That was… uh, that was the Verslovian ritual,’ said Ursa.
‘I’m glad you’re okay,’ said Alkahest.
‘No, I mean. This is important. It’s like… it’s like an engagement thing.’
‘Oh,’ said Alkahest, turning to take her back to the others, and then the car, and then eventually, home. ‘…Is it too soon for that?’
Roll History 