A Car Ride, the Sushi Date and a LOTR Marathon.

It was absolutely silent in the car as they drove through different worlds to head home. Ursa had sat in the front, hoping to get a chance to talk to Alkahest, but she could feel Nora and Merlin’s eyes on her. They weren’t saying anything in the back. Elene was quiet too. She was so grateful they had all come to rescue her and so happy she could call them her friends, but right now she wished she’d been all ‘Hey I can make my own way home!’ and ran in the opposite direction.

And what would she even say to Alkahest anyway! He had said he loved her, what??? Ursa felt like that was a huge jump, he’d only just gotten her flowers yesterday, saying she hadn’t overstepped with that tiny peck of a kiss, it was too good to be true. Obviously, she was head over heels for him, she couldn’t deny that, but how could she believe he felt the same??? And the Verslovian ritual??? They were kinda, a little bit engaged??? And he seemed ok with that??? Ursa could hear him say ‘is it too soon for that?’ over and over again in her head. This couldn’t be happening. 

This was probably part of the punishment, a perfect moment before everything came crashing down, so the fall hit even harder. Or maybe she actually had been executed and in her dying moments her brain concocted this amazing scenario where everyone cared about her and everything was exactly as she wanted, to give her some comfort before the abyss. 

But as she worried, Alkahest kept looking over at her, with this big, goofy grin on his face, that got even wider if he caught her eye. The butterflies in her stomach were huge. She’d do anything to make this be real, pay any price to have this be reality. 

‘Keep your eyes on the road, omg.’ She whispered, unable to stop smiling as she looked at him. He didn’t reply, he just chuckled, grinning at her. If they had been alone, she wondered what’d she say to him. 

But a cough from the back – probably not a deliberate one, but still – reminded her that they were definitely not alone. 

She pulled her gaze away, smiling bashfully, before twisting in her seat to look at her friends. 

‘Hey, so what happened while I was gone?’ she asked, talking too quickly, wanting to avoid any awkwardness. ‘That weird old lady said you went through some shit, and you all look pretty beat up. Did a building really explode on you???’ Even though Ursa said ‘all’ it was only really Merlin and Alkahest covered in blood, and she was a little afraid they’d been at each other’s throats. The look the three of them shared before answering practically confirmed it. 

Between them, they gave Ursa a fairly accurate cliff notes version, leaving out the bits where they beat the shit out of each other and Merlin stabbed an old lady multiple times, of course. 

‘You all just… agreed to work with each other? With no fighting?’ Ursa asked incredulously. 

‘Yes, we just… talked.’ Nora replied flatly. 

‘We had a very civil conversation.’ Alkahest added, grinning. 

Merlin stayed very quiet. 

‘Well, that’s nice.’ Ursa didn’t believe them for a moment. ‘I really owe you guys, thanks so much for coming to rescue me!’ 

‘You’re welcome.’ Merlin replied. 

‘Don’t do it again.’ Nora added, hesitating, ‘Please.’ She crossed her arms and was suddenly very focused on something outside the window. 

‘Yeah, it is not fun at fae court, don’t want to repeat. Hey, let me treat you guys to dinner soon yeah? Since I dunno if I’ll be coming back to the institute yet, I’ve made us a group chat!’ She shows Merlin and Nora her phone, a chat named ‘Besties!’ and Ursa had already sent a list of restaurant recommendations and a gif of a cat dancing while wearing a sombrero. 

Nora groaned loudly. 

‘Hey, sorry to interrupt, but we’re back in fulcrum; where does everyone want dropping?’ Alkahest called out, the scenery outside finally familiar. Everyone gave a little sigh of relief. 

‘Just anywhere near the centre.’ Nora replied coldly. 

‘Yeah, that’s fine with me.’ Merlin added, sounding equally as icy. 

Ursa pouted a little, she had hoped that they might have bonded a little over all of this, but they seemed extremely eager to get out of this car. She realised they were all looking at her. 

Uh oh. 

‘Are you going back to Strych’s?’ Ursa asked Alkahest innocently, suddenly acutely aware of her lack of plans and/or home to return to. 

‘Aw shit, yeah, I gotta apologise about the chimney-‘ 

The silence was tense. 

In the back, Elene blinked, looking confused. 

‘Why, what did you do to their chimney?’ Ursa asked, sweet voice more than a little strained. 

Alkahest panicked, unable to stop his eyes from darting back to Merlin. ‘Oh, you know, it got a little, uh, damaged, during our, uh, very civil and non-violent conversation!’ 

Ursa turned to glare at Nora and Merlin, and Nora cracked first. 

‘Hey, nothing to do with me, I didn’t even shoot him!’ She didn’t add that she had wanted to. 

‘I wouldn’t have destroyed the chimney if Alkahest had just died first,’ Merlin muttered. 

‘MERLIN!’ 

‘Come on, Ursa, what’s a little Witch Bolt between pals!’ Alkahest joked, trying to de-escalate the rage slowly building in the car, but stopped as Ursa gave him a pointed look. 

‘Look, it was pretty obvious you were gonna fight, I’m not gonna get mad that you tried to murder Alkahest,’ said Ursa through clenched teeth, sounding like someone who was definitely getting mad about that very thing. ‘But you HAVE to apologise to Strych, you can’t just blow up their house! They hadn’t done anything!’ 

Merlin shifted in his seat uncomfortably. ‘They were hiding a fugitive.’ 

‘MERLIN!’ 

‘Oh look, here’s our stop.’ Nora said, opening the car door and dragging Merlin out with her. 

‘MERLIN WE ARE GOING TO TALK ABOUT THIS LATER!’ Ursa screeched after them, furiously starting to message in the group chat, using lots of red faced emojis. 

‘I’m gonna go too,’ Elene said. ‘Thanks for the ride.’ 

‘Elene— wait,’ Ursa exclaimed, hastily changing her face. ‘Let me give you my phone number; we should hang out! Thanks so much for all your help with the trial, I really owe you!’ 

‘Nah, it was a really interesting case.’ Elene said smoothly and Ursa blushed, remembering how she had bungled a lot of it. She still couldn’t believe she let them read all those texts. How the Hell had she made it out alive? Elene hefted her baseball bat and smiled. ‘While I’m in town lets grab coffee or something, yeah?’ 

‘Oh my God, yes, 100%!’ Ursa replied happily, waving as Elene got out the car. Incredible, she’d gone from having no friends to three friends and… well, whatever Alkahest was. Boyfriend? Partner? Fiancée?? That last one made her blush. 

‘Do you, uh, want dropping anywhere?’ Alkahest asked quietly.  

‘Can I come to Strych’s? I want to apologise on Merlin’s behalf,’ Ursa replied, a little too quickly. 

She should just tell him, Hey, I kinda thought I’d be stuck in court for ages so I moved out just in case but now I feel silly since it was just a day but also I have nowhere to live now, wanna get a room with me somewhere? 

But he’d already gone through hell and back to get her, it’d be unfair to add more to his plate. She could figure something out. She always did. If this was real, she didn’t want to push her luck. 

‘Yeah, course,’ he replied, seeming happy enough, so Ursa went back to her phone. She could get a hotel for a few nights, if it was cheap enough, she’d still have some deposit money for another apartment… 

Her thoughts trickled off. The silence was too distracting. 

They were finally alone. 

Ursa gulped and put her phone down. 

‘Um, I didn’t get a chance to say it during the trial or after, you know, with everything going on but…’ She took a deep breath. Her heart was pounding so loudly she could barely hear what she was saying. ‘I, um, I love you too. I just, um, wanted you to know, y’know? Cause you said it first, and, um, I don’t want you to—’ 

Alkahest didn’t say anything in response, interrupting her by reaching over for her hand, kissing each knuckle gently. With each touch of his lips, her worries melted away. Maybe this was real. Maybe he did feel the same. Her heart felt like it was about to burst with joy. They stayed like that for a while, silently beaming at each other. Ursa felt like they were in their own little world. And she never wanted to leave. 

* 

She tried her best not to say anything as they pulled up to Strych’s, but Ursa’s eyes went very wide when she saw the destruction and debris scattered around the garden. Even in the dark it looked really fucking bad. 

‘Omg, Merlin actually tried to fucking murder you,’ she whispered. 

Alkahest just laughed, shrugging. ‘It’s fine.’ 

Ursa did not think it was fine. 

Strych must have seen the two pull up, as they were already waiting outside with their arms crossed, smoke wafting in from the open door and the cigarette in their hand, sneering at them as they got out the car. ‘What is that monstrosity on my driveway? Are you on the run from Vic Sulph now too?’ 

‘Nah, he’s dead,’ Alkahest answered cheerfully. 

‘Well then.’ Strych turned to Ursa, with a dry smile.  ‘Ursa, it’s nice to see you’ve not been executed.’ 

‘Yeah thanks, I love not being executed, or having my memories erased or being locked up forever!’ Ursa said with a laugh, before taking on a more serious face. ‘I’m so, so, so sorry about your poor chimney, I never thought Merlin would do something like that.’ 

Strych sighed deeply. ‘You don’t need to apologise, it wasn’t you.’ There was a nasty glint in their eyes. ‘I’ll make sure to never laugh at his jokes again.’ 

Ursa laughed, but Strych didn’t. 

‘Does this mean I can kick you the fuck out?’ They asked Alkahest, hands on hips. Ursa stepped back a little while they talked and got her phone out again, continuing her search for a place to stay. 

‘Yeah, thanks for letting me hide out here, I really appreciate it.’ Alkahest replied, smiling warmly at Strych. The warmth was not reciprocated. 

‘You owe me,’ Strych said matter-of-factly. 

‘Big time, I know,’ he laughed. 

‘Where are you going to go?’ Strych asked, sounding disinterested, examining their claw-like nails. ‘If you’re staying in Middlemarch for a bit, you’ve got a couple of safe houses, right? What about that place near Chinatown? It’s halfway decent. Livable.’ 

‘Oh yeah, good ide—’ 

‘Invite Ursa too, since she’s googling hotels for some reason.’ 

‘Eh?’ 

They were both staring and Ursa felt herself flush as she put her phone away, laughing nervously.

‘Oh, um, I figured the fey stuff would take… well, more than a day anyway, so I kinda… quit my job, put all my stuff in storage, cancelled all my bills, moved out, updated my will… you know…  normal stuff…’ 

‘Wow, you were really prepared.’ 

‘Yeahhhhh…’ She couldn’t look at him, twisting her hair round her finger anxiously. 

‘Do you… Do you wanna move in with me?’ Alkahest asked, and he looked so happy Ursa’s chest actually hurt. 

‘I mean, I don’t want to be a hassle,’ she was already saying it without even thinking, shrinking away like she always did, even though she just desperately wanted to scream yes. ‘I can easy just—’ 

‘UGH,’ Strych interrupted, looking absolutely disgusted. ‘He wants you to. You want to. Move in together and get the fuck off my lawn!’ They turned to head back; their stomping lessened by the fact that they were wearing slippers. 

Ursa looked up at Alkahest with a shy smile, the two of them blushing as their fingers interlocked. She took a deep breath. 

‘Um, I would really like that. If you’re sure its ok.’ 

‘Yeah, that’s totally cool with me.’ He replied too quickly, too excitedly. He paused. ‘I haven’t been there in a while so it might be a total shithole, sorry. If you don’t like it, we can always look for something else together.’ 

Ursa laughed and was about to say something stupid, but Strych interrupted them again. 

‘Actually… there’s something I should mention.’ They’d stopped just a few feet away, and turned back towards them. They seemed hesitant, something remarkably out of character. ‘Panacea came by.’ 

‘Oh shit.’ Alkahest said, taking a step closer towards Ursa. ‘Did she say what she wanted?’ 

‘Just wanted to know if I’d seen you. Apparently, her ‘twin-sense’ isn’t working.’ 

‘Wait you’re twins??’ Ursa gasped. 

‘Yeah, kinda, we don’t really look alike though. And she’s just good at scrying, she calls it her twin sense to fuck with people.’ He reached under his shirt to pull out the Amulet of Proof Against Detection and Location that Ursa had given him a few days ago – although it felt like much longer— ‘Thanks again for the amulet Ursa, big relief if Panacea can’t track me anymore! That should keep her off my back for a little bit—’ 

‘Alkahest.’ Strych interrupted, their expression dire. ‘She knows about Ursa.’ 

He blinked. And then blinked again. And blinked several more times very rapidly. ‘She what?’ 
 
Strych didn’t bother rolling their eyes. ‘Panacea seems to know about Ursa.’  
 
More blinking.  
 
Ursa looked up at him in confusion, not quite sure what was causing his brain malfunction. ‘Is that bad?’ 
 
‘No!’ His voice sounded squeaky and taut. ‘Of course not. That’s fine. Totally fine. What did she say, exactly?’  
 
‘She just asked if I had met your new girlfriend yet.’  
 
‘How did she know?’ Ursa asked quizzically, ‘we’ve only been official for maybe two hours?’ She had a brief panic that they weren’t official yet and she was overstepping, but put it to one side because you can’t do the Verslovian ritual with someone and not be official.  
 
Strych took a deep drag of their cigarette. ‘I assume it has something to do with that flashy Summer Court Trial you were just in?’ 
 
Alkahest laughed in a way that sounded tortured. ‘Did she say anything else?’  
 
Strych hesitated; or rather, might have hesitated or might have just been taking another drag of their cigarette. ‘I think her exact words were “Isn’t Orsolya such a pretty name?” to which I replied “who the fuck is that?”’ Strych jabbed at Ursa’s chest. ‘I assume that’s you.’’ 
 
Ursa took a step back, partly from the force of Strych’s fingers and partly from the chill that sent the hairs on the back of her neck up. She looked at Alkahest nervously. ‘How does she know my… Actual name?’  
 
Alkahest’s face seemed to fold in on itself, much like a certain muppet, before his mouth opened, and opened, until he had his game face on. ‘It’s fine, this is fine. I can keep her away from Ursa.’ 
 
Strych snorted. ‘That’s the big plan? Hide Ursa in a box every time Panacea gets close?’ 
 
‘Yes. No! …Do you think that would work?’ 
 
‘Am I missing something here?’ Ursa chimed in, not particularly liking the sound of being shoved in a box, ‘She’s your sister, I assumed I’d have to meet her at some point. You’re gonna have to meet my family, sorry in advance.’  
 
The eyes in his maw squinted in fear. ‘No, you can’t, Pan’s too—’ He faltered, swiveling towards Styrch, ‘You just can’t.’ He said finally, sounding strangled.  
 
Ursa suddenly had a very bad feeling.  
 
‘Can’t? Like, ever? At all?’  
 
‘Uhhhhhhhhhh… Yeah, that’d be for the best.’ 
 
‘Really?’ Strych said with a snort. The eyes in Alkahest’s maw just glared at them.  
 
‘Should I be worried?’ Asked Ursa, although she was already very worried.  
 
‘No.’  
 
‘Yes.’ 
 
Strych and Alkahest said simultaneously.  
 
They stared each other down. Alkahest gulped. ‘You’re right, Strych, there’s nothing to worry about, if I can keep Panacea away from her.’  
 
‘Emphasis on if.’  
 
Ursa was starting to get really freaked out now. ‘I know she’s the “evil” twin, but… is she really that dangerous?’ 
 
‘Wait,’ Strych said slowly, peering into Alkahest’s maw in disdain, ‘Have you not told her?’ 
 
‘Told me what?’
 
‘Look, I thought she’d be stuck in that infernomicon for at least half a century, and I’d have time to prepare and get her to not…’ He looked over to Ursa.  ‘y’know.’ 
 
Strych raised their eyebrows at him. ‘Well? Are you gonna tell her, or should I?’  
 
Ursa felt like the earth beneath her was about to swallow her up. Her own family baggage was dramatic enough, it must be so much worse with demons. Maybe her family would seem normal in comparison.  
 
‘Look, Ursa, my sister… she uh…’ He couldn’t seem to bring himself to finish the sentence.  
 
Strych sighed dramatically. ‘She’s broken up every relationship he’s ever had.’  
 
What.  
 
Ursa couldn’t help but laugh, a little manically, that hadn’t been what she was expecting at all.
 
‘What?’
 
‘Yeah, seduces them, causes as messy a break up as she can and then ditches them when she gets bored.’
 
Ursa looked from Strych to Alkahest, mouth agape.
 
‘What, every single one?’
 
‘Yep.’ Alkahest replied, looking the most uncomfortable she’d ever seen him.
 
‘Wow, ok– wait, WAIT! STRYCH!’ Ursa covered her mouth in horror.
 
Strych took another deep drag of their cigarette. ‘Yes, Ursa, that includes me.’
 
‘Panacea is the reason you two broke up???’ Ursa exclaimed, unable to keep her voice down.
 
‘No.’  
 
‘Yes.’ 
 
Strych groaned. ‘There were several reasons why we broke up, let’s not dredge it all up now.’ They looked pointedly at Ursa.  
 
‘Yeah. Loads of reasons. One of them being that you fucked my sister.’ His voice was less jittery but now there was an edge to it, as if he were trying to make it sound like a joke and failing utterly.
 
Strych didn’t seem fussed. They blew smoke into his maw, drawling, ‘Well, if you want to be specific, she fucked me but—’ 
 
‘Fuck you, Strych, you’re not helping!’
 
‘No thanks.’ 
 
‘Hey, time out,’ Ursa laughed nervously, getting between the two of them in an attempt to ease the tension, ‘seriously, is she just going to hit on me?’  
 
Strych blinked. ‘It’s more complex than that. But, essentially, yes.’ 
 
‘Oh thank goodness! You were making it sound like she was going to hunt me down and eat me or something!’  
 
‘Or something.’ Strych muttered.  
 
‘Anyway, if all she’s going to do is bat her eyelashes at me, that’s much more manageable!’ 
 
‘Manageable?’ Alkahest’s surge of rage had already dissipated, he was back to being squeaky and shaky. ‘Ursa, she’s not manageable, you’ll take one look at her and—’  
 
‘She is the hot twin.’ Strych said almost cheerfully.  
 
‘Still not helping, Strych.’ Alkahest growled.  
 
‘OK, so she’s hot and scary, whatever. I don’t fall for every hot demon I meet. Or else Strych would be in trouble too. And Erabu. Why are there so many hot demons? Jeeze.’ 
 
Alkahest stepped towards her, touching her shoulders gently, with shaking hands, ‘You haven’t met her, you don’t get it, it’s not just looks she just has this— Panacea is— She’s just—’ He couldn’t find the words, shaking his head, the eyes in his maw more sorrowful than she could have imagined. Ursa felt a hole open up in her chest. She pulled him into a hug without thinking. He started a little, looking over to Strych before reciprocating.  
 
When she pulled away, his game face had gone and he was beet red, unable to look at her or at Strych. He took a quick step back. Maybe he didn’t like PDA or maybe it was Strych’s murderous glare. 
‘Hey, so,’ She said quietly— Strych could probably still hear her, but they’d have to strain their ears a bit, ‘I get the feeling this is like… a really big deal and now is probably not the best time to talk about it?’ 
 
He looked like he was about to say something, before flushing more and nodding ashamedly. ‘Sorry.’ He managed.  
 
Ursa shook her head, giving him the warmest smile she could muster. ‘I mean, we all have baggage, don’t worry! I bet you’re excited to get into mine.’ He didn’t laugh at that, but there was a half-hearted smile. She reached out for his hands gently— he’d have to put up with a little PDA. ‘But, yeah you really don’t need to fret, ok? I meant what I said before, in the car. I love you. And…’ She flushed a little herself, looking up at him bashfully, ‘I’ve never felt this way about someone before, didn’t really think I was capable of feeling this way…. So, yeah, you’re kinda stuck with me.’ She squeezed his hands with a laugh, ‘And not just ‘cause we did an ancient changeling engagement ritual.’  
 
That did make him laugh, and she was suddenly reminded of the first video he had sent her, laughing at her terrible pronunciation. Her heart fluttered— it had been doing that a lot since she had met him— as she couldn’t stop herself from smiling widely. Him laughing, making him laugh? That was her jam. Somewhere in the distance, she could hear Saubra pretend-retching and she had to stifle a giggle. 
 

Strych looked about as appreciative, having had quite enough. ‘You’re both revolting, I wish I had never helped you, get out of my sight.’ 

Alkahest laughed, moving towards the house. ‘Ok, sorry Strych, I’ll just grab my stuff and we’ll be out of your hair.’ 

Strych moved to go inside but hesitated again, looking back at Ursa. ‘Do you… want a cup of tea? 

Ursa lit up, running to catch up. ‘Omg, yes please, thanks so much Strych!’ 

‘Well, you know where the kitchen is.’ 

‘Oh.’ 

* 

The apartment was a little way out of the city centre – closer than Ursa’s old apartment anyway – and the building Alkahest had brought her to seemed to be a vacant shopping complex. On the drive past, Ursa could have sworn there had been a woolworths sign, but it couldn’t have been vacant for that long, surely. There was a little multi-storey parking lot connected, and as they walked up the stairs to the apartments, Ursa started getting very nervous. 

Firstly, because it smelt like piss – most multi-storey carpark stairs did but still – he’d said it was a shithole, what if he was taking her somewhere gross??? What if it was dirty??? She didn’t know how demons lived, Strych’s house was always smoky, what if Alkahest’s was covered in blood or worse – and secondly because she was suddenly very aware she had agreed to move in with him. Her thoughts were lightning fast, full of insecurities and worries, they hadn’t spent any real time together outside of texting, there was so much you didn’t learn about a person until you lived together, what if he hated how she chewed???? What if he had an annoying habit that she couldn’t deal with???? What if their relationship crumbled because they’d only ever been in high adrenaline situations before and couldn’t be around each other normally? This was only the third time they’d ever met in person. He was going to dump her for sure. 

‘Hey, you ok? This is it.’ 

Ursa came back to her senses. They were stood in front of a door. It seemed normal enough. The smell of piss had rescinded. ‘Yeah sorry, bit nervous. Ha ha.’ 

He smiled and squeezed her hand. ‘Me too.’ 

Then he placed his hand on the door. A sigil appeared and the door clicked open. 

Ursa’s jaw dropped open. ‘Holy shit, magic door!’ 

‘Yeah, I’ll add you to the lock, don’t worry.’ 

‘My old place just… had a key.’ 

‘And you’re still alive? Amazing.’ He motioned to the door. ‘You wanna go in?’ 

‘Y-yeah!’ Ursa said nervously, pushing the door open, eyes squeezing shut as she took a deep breath, preparing herself for the worst. 

She was pleasantly surprised. 

‘Oh.’ 

It was quite modern, looked like one of those new build houses, all beige and cream, opening out onto an open plan kitchen-diner-living-room. It was a little impersonal, but the only complaint Ursa could make was that everything was covered in cat hair. Which was, well, it was weird, but certainly manageable. 

‘Woah, woah, woah, WOAH!’ Ursa said excitedly, eyes sparkling with glee. ‘This is so nice? It’s like, twice the size of my old apartment?’ 

Alkahest put his bags down, smiling. ‘There’s the upstairs too.’ 

‘HOLY SHIT!’ 

‘It’s a bit, uh, plain, with safe houses, you make a persona for them, like a fake owner. Helps protect against scrying. I can’t remember who I made for here. Think she had cats?’ 

Ursa laughed, spying some empty food bowls in the kitchen. ‘That explains why everything is covered in cat hair!’ 

‘We’ll do a deep clean tomorrow, after we go get your stuff.’ Alkahest paused, cheeks turning pink. ‘I normally don’t stay in safe houses for long but… if you’re happy, I can drop the persona, maybe get Strych to ward it… we can… y’know… Make it home.’ 

Ursa clapped her hands together, spinning on the spot, absolutely ecstatic. ‘Oh my god, can we decorate together?’ 

‘Yeah.’ He smiled, perching on the end of a comfy looking sofa, watching her squeal with glee as she rushed about, looking at everything. He started to fidget a little. The smile faded. He sighed. ‘Hey, Ursa?’ 

‘Hmm?’ She turned towards him, hesitating at his mellow expression. 

‘Next time shit hits the fan… Please, please just talk to me. I was real fuckin’ scared when I got that text… Don’t leave me in the dark again, ok?’ He sounded so… vulnerable. Ursa’s throat went dry. 

She gulped, hands suddenly sweaty. ‘I 100% promise you, I wouldn’t have done that unless it was necessary. The institute was gonna force me to talk to Cat shit, I couldn’t— I had to go from plan d to like… plan y.’ 

‘You had that many plans?’ Alkahest chuckled, although it was much more subdued than usual. 

‘No, mostly just bad ideas.’ She admitted. ‘You should be glad I didn’t have to resort to my last, last resort.’ With a click of her fingers and a little spin, she transformed into Alkahest, complete with a white and black suit. ‘Just in case they didn’t buy me being the murderer. They probs would have figured out I was a fake but, hey! Beggers and choosers and all that.’ She even sounded like him. 

Alkahest just stared at her, wide eyed. 

She turned back to herself, sheepishly. ‘Sorry, that was probably weird, I—’ 

‘Why’d you— Ursa, you—’ He couldn’t seem to get his words together, his hand over his mouth. ‘Why were you so ready to fuckin’ die for me?’ 

‘Hey,’ Ursa crossed her arms, frowning, ‘I didn’t go into this wanting to die? I worked my ass off to get out alive! I got execution taken off the fucking table!’ 

‘Really?’ 

‘Yeah! I mean…’ She hesitated. ‘Cat shit did want to erase my memories instead, which is kinda worse in some ways…’ Ursa trailed off, a deep pit in her stomach, her worries knotting together tighter and tighter. ‘I… I am sorry for not talking it out with you. There were probably better options but… I didn’t have time. I knew you’d worry; I didn’t even want to tell you anything to be honest, I was gonna lie and just say I was just busy with work… But I couldn’t so… yeah…’ He was still silent. She stepped closer, as close as she dared. ‘I really don’t want you to be mad, I promise, I would’ve done things differently if the circumstances weren’t dire.’ 

‘I’m not mad, please don’t worry, sorry,’ with a sigh he stood back up and reached out for her, she practically ran into his open arms. ‘Sorry, Ursa, I just don’t want you to get hurt because of me. You’re fucking amazing, doing all of this and I… I never…’ he squeezed her tighter. ‘I never want to lose you.’ 

‘I promise next time we’ll talk first, yeah? I won’t hide anything. We’re a team.’ Ursa said with a little sniff, burying her face into his chest. 

‘Hell yeah.’ He said softly with a smile, holding her gently. 

‘But… I can’t promise…’ She looked up at him, voice wobbling. ‘I can’t promise I won’t do this again. Sorry, I’d do anything if it kept you safe. I’d give myself up to the fae in a heartbeat every time.’ 

Alkahest stroked her face with a rueful smile. ‘I mean… you were right before. I would’ve done the same for you. I know I came in guns blazing, but, Ursa, if Titania had said ‘hey it’s you or her’ I’d have given myself up gladly. I’d burn the whole world down for you.’ 

Her heart swelled and she tiptoed up to kiss him, though less than normal thanks to her heels. 

When she pulled back, she blushed. ‘Hey, slightly off-topic but… when you did burst in… I mean, I was happy to see everyone, but… I honestly… didn’t think you’d come for me? I mean, I wouldn’t have ever imagined Nora turning up, not even in my wildest dreams but… I guess having confirmation that you… y’know… felt the same… I was really fucking happy.’ She’d started twisting her hair round her finger again, and couldn’t quite look at him. ‘I think… I was scared to tell you what was going on because I still didn’t really think you even liked me back… Or at least not as much as I… not the same way I felt about you… I’m not super great at feelings, and I definitely don’t really trust other people’s feelings but… you made it pretty hard to deny… y’know…’ she hazarded a look up at him and her heart stopped. 

His eyes were melting her, staring deep into hers and so, so, so full of love. His hands cupped her face, brushing away some errant pink hairs. She couldn’t breathe. 

‘I love you, Ursa.’ The way he said it made her knees tremble. He’d never been this close before, not while saying it. Not while looking so sincere. Not while sounding so raw. ‘I’d chase you through every world if I had to. I won’t let anything stand in your way. Nothing is ever gonna keep us apart.’ 

He kissed her again and Ursa could see stars. She could have died there and then and been happy. 

‘We on the same page now?’ he breathed.  

‘Yeah. 100%.’ She replied dreamily, clinging to him for support because her legs were shaking so much. 

He squeezed her again before clearing his throat. ‘So, we agree yeah, we’ll look out for each other, tackle things together. And fingers crossed, we won’t need to do any more self-sacrificing.’ 

‘Ha ha, yeah,’ Ursa laughed, feeling drunk, lightheaded, ‘most couples date, then move in together, then do an archaic engagement ritual and THEN maybe sacrifice themselves for each other??? We’ve done this super backwards.’ 

‘Does that mean I finally get to take you out now?’ 

Ursa couldn’t reply, she was too happy, she felt like she was floating, so she just kissed him again. 

‘We should probably get some sleep,’ Alkahest said with a grin, looking as happy as she felt, ‘let’s head up and-!’ He stopped in his tracks, face flushing a deep crimson. He took a sudden step back. ‘Shit, uh, I can take the sofa, we don’t have to—!’ 

‘What? Why would you—?’ She was about to ask but then she saw his embarrassed expression, how he suddenly couldn’t look at her. And it clicked for her. 

Oh my God. 

Ursa pulled him back, kissing him again, and their lips lingered a little longer. 

‘Well, I mean…’ she looked up at him, trying to ignore the tremor in her voice, in her hands. ‘We’re engaged, technically, although it’s just a stupid ritual, we don’t have to be its totally not a big deal, uh, you don’t have to worry about that.’ 

‘I don’t want to rush you, there’s – I mean, not that I don’t want to, but there’s no pressure—’ 

‘It doesn’t feel like rushing.’ Ursa said, voice barely more than a whisper. ‘And I don’t feel any pressure. If anything, I’m just excited. I can finally kiss you as much as I want. Which is a whole bunch.’ 

‘Yeah?’ Alkahest asks, his voice low and quiet. His hands were shaking too. They’d been doing that a lot today. 

Ursa couldn’t bring herself to reply, not trusting her voice, so instead she nodded and kissed him again, pulling him close. It reminded her of the first time she kissed him, clutching at him desperately, hoping she wasn’t making a mistake. 

This kiss was very different to that first one, not just because she didn’t nearly completely miss. The air had changed between them, a fire in both their chests that spread between them. Their other kisses had been chaste, sweet and so full of love, and this, this was still loving, but there was a need, a desperation. Their tongues touched for the first time and Ursa thought she’d been struck by lightning. 

They couldn’t help themselves. 

They didn’t even make it up the stairs. 

* 

It was way past midnight; Ursa was showering and Alkahest was ordering food, since, after some very aggressive stomach rumbles, they realised Ursa hadn’t eaten since this morning, before her meeting with Brynner. Or yesterday morning. Whatever.

The shower had been a bad idea in hindsight, not only did she not have any toiletries, it wasn’t like she had thought to put some pyjamas on her shift weave. And a silk suit wasn’t the most comfortable choice. Especially given that her underwear had been ruined on the stairs. (As ridiculous and impractical as it had been, she couldn’t bring herself to have any regrets however.) 

She snuck into the bedroom—our bedroom, oh my god—to rifle through Alkahest’s luggage, looking for some she could steal, but found none. With a sigh, she stole a shirt instead, praying he didn’t sleep nude— there’s no way I can handle that, omg. 

 
It wasn’t dirty, but it did smell of him, and putting it on felt like he was wrapping his arms around her. She swooned and had to lie on the bed for a moment to calm down. 
Eventually she heard a knock at the door, presumably whatever food Alkahest had ordered had turned up. She waited till she heard him shout up to head down.  
 
He did a double take when he saw her. She laughed. 

 ‘I know right, black really isn’t my colour.’ 
 
‘No, you look good, really good. Please, wear my clothes all the time.’ Turned out, he was wearing pyjamas, explaining their absence in his bags. They were, of course, black and white, but much more casual than anything she’d ever seen him in, a t-shirt and shorts, split down the middle with the colours reversed. 
 
‘Stop it, I’m starving.’ 
 
‘Stop what?’ 
 
‘Looking at me like that.’ 
 
‘Oh, sorry, can’t help it.’ 
 
He didn’t look sorry. Not as he pulled her close.  
 
‘I mean it.’ She insisted with a laugh.  
 
He kissed her anyway.  
 
When she pulled away, she laughed again, spying the take away spread out on the coffee table.  
 
‘Hey, I thought it was supposed to be me bringing you baozi?’ 
 
‘Yeah, well, a stranger brought us both baozi, so we’re good.’ He smiled, a little shyly. ‘I’m uh, happy you remembered.’ 
 
‘Like I don’t have all our texts committed to memory. I didn’t need to show Titania my phone, I probs could’ve just quoted some at her haha’ she frowned. ‘Oh, sorry, uh, everyone at the trial had to read our texts. It was as bad as it sounds. Cat Shit was not happy, to put it lightly.’ 
 
Alkahest blinked before laughing. ‘It’s cool, I don’t think I came on too strong so I still seem like a mysterious badass.’ He winked at her. 
 
‘Unlike me. Omg. I came on WAY too strong.’ 
 
‘Nah, I mean, I still had to ask Strych at several points if you were, uh, interested. Though that was more me than, uh, you.’ 
 
‘Strych’s put up with a LOT the past few weeks, huh?’ 
 
‘A metric fuckin’ ton.’ 
 
Her stomach gurgled as the smell of the dumplings hit her nose.  
 
‘Right, stop being cute, I mean it.’ 
 
‘Don’t think I’ve ever been called cute before, but ok.’ He let her go, and plopped down on the sofa, grinning up at her.  
 
‘Should I get cutlery?’ 
 
He picked up some chopsticks and clacked them at her as a reply.  
 
‘Oh.’ 
 
‘It’s cool, I can teach you.’ He patted the seat next to him. As she sat next to him cautiously, he took her hands so gently she was scared she might set on fire.  
 
‘Here, so you hold the upper chopstick like, uh, a pencil?  Right now, get the second one, put it, yeah, there, and your thumb—yeah! Like that! Then when you want to move it…’ 
 
She could barely tell what he was saying. Her heart was beating too fast.  
 
‘And worst-case scenario, just stab ’em!’ He grinned at her.  
 
She tentatively tried it, taking some time to make sure she held them properly, and, to both of their surprises, she managed to pick up a dumpling first try. 
 
‘Omg, thank you.’ 

‘Clearly had a good teacher.’ He said with a wicked grin and they both laughed and tucked in. Ursa couldn’t really say what they chatted about; she was lost in a fuzzy haze. She just knew it was comfortable and warm.  
 

‘Hey, uh, sorry about the stairs.’ Alkahest says eventually, when the conversation had puttered out a little, staring intently at anywhere but her. 
 
She choked before laughing, more nervously than she had intended. ‘Omg, what? Why? Was that not good for you?’ 
 
‘No, I didn’t mean that!’ He turned back to face her, cheeks beet-red, ‘Fuck, that was better than I’d ever imagined, I just… There are certain stereotypes… about demon sex…’ He had to look away again. ‘I don’t want you to think I’m proving them right.’ 
 
Ursa blinked. ‘Stereotypes?’ 
 
Alkahest blushed even harder. ‘You don’t know anything about Outsiders, oh fuck, uh, well, y’know, it might just be a fulcrum thing, humans have weird ideas about demons and what they should be summoned for and… And I was a bit… full on back there…’ 
 
‘Omg please, if you’d been able to keep your hands off me, I would’ve been disappointed! Cause it’s not like I can keep mine off you.’ She reached out for his leg for emphasis. ‘And anyway, I bet there’s a load of weird changeling stuff you don’t know about so we’re cool?’ she paused. ‘Changeling culture is actually so weird, I’ve never had to actually explain it to someone, it might take a while.’ 
 
‘Yeah? Real weird shit?’ 
 
‘Well, uh…’ She could feel the blush creep up her neck as he looked at her expectantly. ‘I can’t get pregnant so, uh, that’s one worry off your mind?’ 
 
He looked more worried than ever.  
 
‘I uh, oh god, I hadn’t even thought, ok, so, that’s a Changeling thing, huh?’ He replied, his voice an octave or two higher than normal.  
 
She couldn’t help but laugh. ‘Yeah, there’s this whole stigma about making babies with other races; the world where my Baba was from said it was because a mixed Changeling only had a finite number of changes and would eventually be stuck in one form forever, but every world seems to have their own version. On my Tata’s side, they say it’s because the babies can’t hold their form and just kind of… liquefy, which is super grim. So yeah, at a young age, we get taught how to change up our insides, temporarily sterilise ourselves.’ 
 
Alkahest nodded with wide eyes. ‘Woah.’ He was quiet for a moment. ‘So, does every world have a different Verslovian ritual?’  
 
‘Ah.’ She flushed. He’d caught her off guard with that. ‘No. It’s normally the same. There are a couple of worlds where it’s like… the actual marriage ceremony, but its normally just a courtship/engagement jam.’ She laughed, not quite able to look at him. ‘Fun fact, it’s how my parents got together.’ Her face fell. ‘Oh god, you’ll have to meet my parents, they’ll hate you.’ She put her hands over her mouth. ‘Omg, not in a nasty way, you’re just not a changeling—’ 
 
‘It’s alright, we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.’ He said with a laugh, putting his arm around her, helping himself to his last dumpling. ‘I guess, I just gotta ask if you… do you want to be… engaged?’ 
 
Ursa felt the lightning through her again. Her mouth opened and closed a few times as she wrestled with her answer. She was shaking.  
 
‘I…’  Surely he couldn’t just ask her that???  
 
‘I mean, I dunno how, uh, binding the ritual is, but there’s no pressure. And there’s no wrong answer,’ he reassured her, ‘I just wanna know where your head’s at.’ 

His kindness hurt her, she shifted uncomfortably under his arm. ‘It’s not…’ She couldn’t look at him, her face flushing. She was not good at talking about her feelings. ‘Look I…’ Deep sigh. ‘OK, so… it’s kinda the other way round.’ 

‘Eh?’ 

‘Like you’re worried I’m not… But it’s…’ The words weren’t coming, her mouth was dry. A building frustration in her chest. ‘Oh my god, why is this so hard?’ 

‘It’s ok,’ he said, rubbing her arm gently. The frustration turned to fire. She turned to him, her little fists clenched. 

‘Ok, so… full disclosure, I am… terrified, to put it mildly, for, uh, lots of reasons; baggage, still not sure if this is real, don’t want to mess up this… insane, amazing thing I’ve managed to luck into… So, I want to… I want to say like… ‘Hell yeah, sign me up’… But I’m so… scared.’ She looked into his face, she couldn’t quite manage his eyes. ‘I’m like… stupidly, scarily into you… And that’s terrifying too because I’ve never been into romance and what, I meet you and suddenly I’m a lovesick idiot?’ 

‘I don’t think you’re an idiot.’ He said quietly, chuckling. 

‘Look, I just used to be able to control myself.’ That made him laugh. ‘Anyway, you’ve like… completely turned my world upside down and… Not even in a bad way? Like, I wouldn’t change any of this… I mean, ok, it would have been better if a building hadn’t exploded on you—’ 

‘Oh, that was just Nora and Merlin, I was fillin’ the tank.’ 

‘Oh. Well, y’know what I mean, I just…’ She finally managed eye contact. ‘Fuck it. Yeah. I really want to be, uh, engaged with you. That’s not the right term but, whatever this is, whatever it ends up as, I’m here for it. I can’t promise that I’ll uh, be good at it, but I’m… I mean, even if this isn’t real then I gotta just… go for it? Just in case. If I mess up, I promise I’ll do my best to fix it? And if you’re not into it… at least I can say I was honest?’ She hesitated. ‘Please be, uh, into it though, I don’t think I can take saying all that if you’re like ‘actually, let’s just be casual and go at a normal pace you freak’ Oh no.’ 

‘Do I seem like a casual kinda guy?’ 

‘Well, I mean, compared to me? I’m extra as fuck.’ 

‘Look, thank you.’ He squeezed her hand. ‘For being honest. I’m glad I’m still someone you feel you can talk to.’ He fidgeted. ‘I’m, uh, pretty scared too. Don’t tell anyone, it’ll ruin my badass image.’ He waggled his eyebrows at her, and she couldn’t help but giggle. ‘But, uh, I’m into it, you don’t have to worry. If I had to do that whole ritual again, without the whole our lives and freedom being on the line, obviously, I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. You wanna go to, uh, Vegas? Get hitched right now? I mean, I can’t teleport so we’d have to buy tickets? That would take ages. Y’know what I mean.’ 

‘I’m more of an unbreakable blood pact kinda girl, to be fair.’ 

‘Hey, don’t joke about that, Strych 100% knows at least one.’  

They both laughed. Ursa’s fists weren’t clenched anymore. 

‘Ok, no more blood pact jokes, if you don’t joke about re-doing the ritual again; non-magical Verslovian is a fucking slog.’ 

‘I’m guessing you normally get more than one hour?’ 

‘Well, my Tata got eight months.’ 

‘WHAT’ 

‘Yeah, you can get up to a month for each persona you have to find. Mama thought it would put him off when he found out but, nope! He ended up doing it in five!’ 

‘Your mother has eight personas?’ 

‘Yeah, that’s not normal by the way, she’s really weird. Actually, my whole family’s really weird, you might regret signing up for this.’ 

His smile was warm and cheeky. ‘Nah, I don’t think I will.’ 

Ursa couldn’t respond, so instead she leaned over to reach their bottles of pop—apparently the take away only had off-brand diet coke—and handed one to him. 

‘To us. On our engagement.’ 

‘I’ll drink to that.’ 

They clinked their plastic bottles together and took a drink simultaneously. 

When they finally decided to go to bed, Alkahest decided he was going to carry her up, despite her protests – ‘Hey, I need to prove this is something I can actually do if you’re not, y’know, distracting me.’—and they fell into bed, shattered. 

‘You better be here when I wake up.’ Ursa mumbled, pushing back into him, craning to get a final look at his face before she fell asleep, sighing as his arms tightened around her. 

‘Like you could get rid of me that easy.’ He said with a soft laugh, kissing her head as they drifted off. 

* 

Much to Ursa’s delight, he was still there when she woke up in the morning. Also, to her delight, he had brought her pastries and coffee. 

It certainly made up for the early hour. They had a lot to do today, after all. Before they left, he set off what looked like a flea bomb. 

‘This should get rid of all the cat hair, but, uh, we should get out sharp-ish. I’ll probs be fine with the fumes, but it’s pretty deadly for humans.’ 

‘Not a human, remember?’ she laughed. 

‘Yeah, but you’re pretending to be one; it’s just magic, it’s not fussy.’ 

First port of call was retrieving Ursa’s stuff out of storage; not that there was much. It was mostly filming equipment, a suitcase full of clothes, a box of dvd’s and comics and finally her precious coffee machine. Alkahest’s eyes had bulged when he saw it. 

‘What the fuck is that?’ 

‘It’s my coffee machine, be nice to it, it used to be my only friend.’ 

‘A fucking behemoth, is what it is.’ He laughed. ‘I hadn’t pegged you for a cafephile, to coin another stupid word.’ 

‘I’m not, I mean, I like coffee, I practically live off it, but I’m not like Merlin, I just…’ She patted the machine lovingly. ‘I have an emotional attachment.’ 

‘Do you have like, mugs and cutlery and stuff? Alkahest asked suddenly, frowning. 

Ursa flushed and fibbed about having to get rid of it, embarrassed that she hadn’t had enough to warrant keeping, and it had all been whatever she could get cheapest from the Charity Shop. It’s not like you could really entertain in a studio apartment when most of the room was rigged to be film sets! 

Alkahest didn’t seem to pick up on it though, and they stopped off for essentials at a HomeSense on the way back. His essentials were quite different to hers, however. 

‘Do you really need a mortar and pestle?’ asked Ursa, balking a little at the price of everything, nervously checking her bank balance. 

‘Of course, I need a mortar and pestle, haven’t you ever made your own spice blend before?’ 

‘…No?’ 

He scoffed, shaking his head. ‘I’m gonna make you so much nice food. Its gonna blow your mind.’ 

He insisted on paying for everything, despite Ursa’s protests. When she mentioned sending him money, or rent, he just put his arm around her waist and kissed the top of her head with a laugh. 

‘Don’t worry about that, ok?’ 

Which was a confusing answer, but she dropped it, for now. 

When they got home—a clean, cat hair-free home—he sorted out the kitchen stuff and she went upstairs to unpack her things, which ended up being surprisingly emotional. She hadn’t had a wardrobe since she’d lived with her parents. There was a lump in her throat that wouldn’t go away. 

Eventually she gave up and, after changing her outfit—pink dungarees with a cat face on and a white t-shirt—she headed down, to see Alkahest struggling with the coffee machine. 

‘Do you need some help?’ she asked cheekily. 

Alkahest grimaced at her. ‘The behemoth has defeated me.’ 

‘Here, let me.’ 

With a practiced hand, Ursa had the coffee machine connected and up and running within five minutes, although she had used her Mage Hand for the fiddly bits. 

‘Wow. Now you gotta test to see if it’s working.’ 

‘Is that your way of asking for a latte?’ 

He jangled the milk at her cheerily. ‘There a story behind this monster? Did you find it by the side of the road and adopt it?’ 

She hesitated. ‘It’s a really long story, I don’t wanna bore you.’ 

He shrugged. ‘I doubt you could ever bore me.’ 

That made her heart flutter. 

‘Ok, so… When I first moved to Middlemarch, after college, I moved in with some friends and they got me a job at Starbucks. It was part-time, so I had time for videos, I launched the SleepyyBear channel and everything was going great.’ 

‘Uh oh.’ said Alkahest ominously, as he leant against the counter. 

‘Yeah… So, TLDR, Leto broke up with me and it really fucked me up. She wanted… well, I figured out it wasn’t me she was in love with but some weird Ursa she’d concocted in her head, who would get a proper job and stop being silly, but y’know, still be artsy and quirky enough to show off to her boring lawyer friends.’ 

‘Oof.’ 

‘Yeah I… I mean, it was a relief, I love to not be negged every day but…’ She sighed. ‘It was my first breakup and I really didn’t handle it well… My friends tried to help… There was a guy from college who worked there too, Matti, and apparently, he’d always had a crush on me…’ 

‘Never a good idea.’ 

‘Yeah, I’ve learnt that now… Anyway, they set us up and I figured, well surely it can’t hurt any worse than what’s going on right now… Oh boy, was I wrong… It was awful, I felt so shit, I was just up in my own head, could barely hold a conversation. I ended up cutting it short after an hour. I tried to explain, y’know, I’m all fucked up from Leto, it’s 100% me, not you, let’s just stay friends and maybe try again when I’m not… y’know…’ 

Ursa paused but it was more because she was steaming the milk which was really fucking loud. 

‘Well, we didn’t stay friends. To put it mildly. I don’t know exactly what he told people, but something along the lines of ‘the date went great and we had sex but then she turned around and laughed saying it was a pity fuck’.’ 

‘What the fuck?’ 

‘Yeah, I know right? My ‘friends’ took his side, they were super pissed off and, they made an excuse, but they basically told me I had two weeks to move out.’ 

‘Fuck.’ 

‘Yeah, I didn’t have much money saved so I ended up in a bed sit— oh god, it was awful, I can’t get into it, I still have nightmares about living there— but anyways, things at work got really stressful because everyone hated me and they kept giving me warnings and disciplinaries for stuff I hadn’t done and eventually…’ She put down their mugs on the table and sat herself down, patting the chair beside her. Alkahest sat in it sharpish, holding her hands tightly. 

‘Eventually, I get called into the office, and its super clear I’m about to be fired. And I got so, so, so mad. I, um, actually charmed someone for the first time… And I made him explain what was going on. Basically, the whole staff wanted me gone and had starting to threaten to quit if I wasn’t fired… It’d be easier to replace one person than eight and I was the newest so… Well, I decided to quit instead. Fucking sucked, I worked in a call centre for a bit after that, I needed money to get out of that fucking bed sit and it was just… miserable… I kept trying to talk to Matti too, trying to understand why he’d got everyone to turn on me, but he wouldn’t say anything except about how I broke his heart and totally crushed him… UGH.’ She looked at him before frowning again. ‘Sorry, that was really long winded and—’ 

‘So, how does the coffee machine factor in?’ Alkahest asked. 

Ursa flushed, looking uncomfortable. 

‘Oh, well…’ 

Alkahest raised his eyebrows. 

‘So, my manager was still charmed and I was feeling a little salty and I knew they’d just ordered a new machine so I asked very nicely if I could have the old one as a leaving present.’ Ursa was looking very intently at the ceiling. ‘If I had known they’d have to shut for three days since the other one broke after I left and the new one got delayed well…’ She hesitated. ‘No, actually, I probably still would have done it…’ 

‘HA!’ He laughed loudly. ‘Those fuckers, they got what they deserved.’ 

Ursa couldn’t say anything, sipping her latte, cheeks burning. He squeezed her hand, taking a long drink from his mug. 

‘This is really good; those assholes don’t know what they’re missing.’ His grip was too tight on her hand but she squeezed back gratefully, leaning over to give him a shy kiss. 

‘Thanks, Alkahest.’ She whispered, looking up at him through her lashes, ‘I’ve never told anyone that before.’ 

He pulled up her chin gently, kissing her so softly. He cleared his throat. ‘Stop being so cute, we’ve still got stuff to do right?’ 

Ursa giggled without meaning to. ‘Yeah, I need to check my PO boxes, I gotta send some thank you presents, got some site maintenance, social media shit, call my parents then get ready for our date.’ She blinked innocently. ‘Where are we going? I kinda need to plan my outfit! I finally wanna look like a 10 for you, y’know!’ 

Alkahest barked out a laugh. ‘You’re always a solid 12, don’t worry.’ 

‘Incorrect, I have maybe pushed a 7? At best? Like I looked kinda cute in Ikea but then I was gored by a minotaur and barfed everywhere, no idea how you were so flirty, I was like, maybe a 4, if we’re being generous. And fair enough, I looked nice to go see Strych, but if I’d known you’d be there I’d have worn something much nicer. And ok, my suit from yesterday was banging but you, uh, also saw my base form which is like… negative one.’ 

‘Nah, nah, nah, your base form is way cuter than you think. It’s just like a… different pallet? A shiny version?’ He cupped her cheek, brushing her hair behind her ear. ‘Obviously this Ursa is my favourite, but give yourself more credit.’ 

Ursa couldn’t reply, too overwhelmed – no one had even seen her base form in years, let alone ever said it was cute, and the knowledge that Alkahest knew about Pokémon was very exciting – so she just leaned into his hand with a sigh. 

They stayed like that for a moment, just gazing at each other, his thumb stroking her cheek softly, their hands still touching on the table. Eventually she sighed again, happily, turning to kiss his palm. 

‘Wanna get lunch while we’re out?’ 

He grinned wolfishly as a reply. 

* 

Ursa showed him her favourite burrito place and they gorged themselves. She was a little worried that where ever they ended up on this date she’d be too full; her normal diet consisted of coffee, pot noodles and pierogi mainly. 

Alkahest was still a little skittish being in public, her own heart clenched uncomfortably when they passed anyone looking vaguely fae adjacent. He actually growled at a faun who stared for slightly too long, making her squeal and bolt in the opposite direction. Ursa felt a little guilty, she had definitely just been checking him out, and who could blame her?? 

He was wearing a slightly more casual outfit, white jeans, black t-shirt, his white leather jacket and some black boots. Ursa felt herself swoon every time she looked at him, it was no surprise the general public noticed too. She squeezed his hand, holding onto his arm, feeling very lucky. 

She sent her customary muffin basket to Cepheus, with a little note expressing her gratitude and a little message to Emva about how much she was missed. Brynner was more difficult. She settled on flowers, a big bright orange bouquet with teal accents and a rather lengthy letter expressing her deepest gratitude and offering to maybe meet up and chat about future collaborations. Alkahest had to talk her out of trying to send Queen Titania a thank you present, claiming it would maybe look bad. 

‘You just got away with murder, looks suspicious if you send the judge flowers afterwards.’ 

‘Hey, you did the actual murder, I’m totally innocent.’ 

‘It was self-defence.’ 

‘Bullshit.’ 

The florist gave them a weird look. 

The PO boxes were fairly standard, Saubra had received some items for videos ‘A candle that smells like- what??’ and much to her delight, her Sleepyybear channel had gotten its first fan mail. She did a little dance of happiness, giving Alkahest a big hug as she squealed. 

As they walked back to the car, Ursa finally dared to ask something she’d been mulling over. 

‘Hey, do you have any plans tomorrow?’ She tried to sound casual and did not succeed. 

‘Hmmmm,’ he made a thoughtful noise, and Ursa felt very nervous all of a sudden, ‘the extent of my plans is to spend it with you.’ 

He grinned at her and she wobbled a little as her heart exploded, or melted—she wasn’t sure which.  

‘I was wondering if you’d wanna have a movie day, with me? Maybe I could show you the Lord of the Rings films?’ She asked shyly. 

‘Well, I guess that depends.’ He said unsurely, and Ursa’s mouth went dry, of course he doesn’t want to, who wants to sit next to me for twelve hours while I geek out— ‘Do you have all three extended editions?’ he asked with a laugh. 

She actually stopped walking as she looked up at him very seriously.  

‘Of course, I do. I even have them on blu-ray.’ 

He whistles. ‘Damn, blu-ray.’ They start walking again. ‘So, what was it you said, blanket fort, popcorn?’ 

‘Or movie snacks of your choice, don’t feel limited to popcorn.’ She said quickly. ‘And obvs, still need some proper food, I was thinking pastries for breakfast—oh or maybe pancakes since we had pastries this morning? – maybe like a chauterie kinda thing lunchish and maybe take out for the final stretch? If we’re still hungry anyway.’ She looked up at him, blushing. ‘If that’s ok with you?’ 

He put his arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him ‘I defer to your expert judgement. Should we get supplies now? Ready for tomorrow?’ 

He had just stopped them outside of a Sainsbury’s. 

‘Yeah! Good idea!’ 

‘Do we do like a drinking game?’ Alkahest asked as they headed in. 

‘Could do, but its best to just do it for the last film, or else you end up totally sloshed by the battle of helm’s deep.’ 

Alkahest nodded like he knew what she meant. 

* 

When they got home – Ursa absolutely loved calling it home, it was already more ‘home-like’ than her old apartment – and after putting all the shopping away, she started to set up her laptop on the sofa when Alkahest took her by the hand, pulling her up. 

‘I really do have a lot of admin to catch up on.’ Ursa joked, still a little worn out from this morning. 

‘No, it’s not—well I mean, no, no, get your mind out the gutter!’ 

She stuck her tongue out at him playfully. 

He led her up the stairs, stopping in front of two doors Ursa hadn’t opened yet. She’d only been in their bedroom and the bathroom so far; she hadn’t even asked what they were. 

‘So, uh, this one I use as my office,’ he opened the closest door to reveal a painted grey office, looking very unused. ‘Or rather, I planned to use it as my office if I were ever here, which, I am now so, uh, anyway,’ He seemed nervous, ‘but I just thought, if you wanted to y’know, there’s the spare room?’ He opened the second door, which led into a room painted white with a plain double bed, bedside table and lamp, ‘I don’t, I mean, I’ve never had people round, it’s a safe house, that would be weird.’ 

‘And you’re—what was it you said? —an anti-establishment loner?’ Ursa said cheekily, smiling as she made him laugh. 

‘Yeah, something like that. Anyway, what I’m trying to say is, it’s yours. If you, uh, want it. As a studio, office, I dunno if its big enough but hell, use it as a walk-in wardrobe if you want?’ 

She blinked at him, having gone totally rigid. 

‘Wait, what?’ 

‘Yeah, I mean, we’ll get you some different furniture, obviously? Although I dunno if I’m ready to go back to an ikea yet.’ 

‘Are you serious?’ 

He looked at her, partly confused, partly concerned. ‘Yeah? I mean, if you don’t want to, that’s fine too.’ 

‘No, I—I…’ There were suddenly tears streaming down her face. 

‘Woah, hey, its ok!’ Alkahest panicked, pulling her into a big hug as she started to sob. 

‘S-sorry, I’m just—this is just…’ 

He stroked her head worriedly. ‘Yeah, it’s been a stressful few days, you must be overwhelmed.’ 

‘No! I mean, yeah, but, I’m…’ She pulled away to smile up at him, eyes glistening. ‘I’m so fucking happy!’ She laughed, pulling him down into a kiss. ‘I’ve never had someone in my corner before, it feels really good. I can’t believe this is real, holy shit.’ She suddenly looked serious. ‘This is real, right?’ 

He laughed too, looking relieved. ‘I meant what I said, we’re in this together. I wanna support the stuff you care about, I already know you’d do the same for me, though hopefully the next meeting I drag you too is less eventful. And your YouTube stuff is cool.’ 

She pulled him down into another kiss, feeling gleeful laughter bubble in her chest, feeling the smile on his lips. Was every day going to feel like this? Like the happiest she had ever been? 

‘Oh my god, is this what a good relationship feels like???’ she asked, head tipping back with laughter. 

‘I dunno, I’ve never had one either.’ He replied with a laugh. ‘I’m gonna go with yes though, I think we’re good.’ He leaned down to kiss her, and she had to clutch at his shoulders, her legs turning to jelly. When he pulled away, she couldn’t help but whine in disappointment. ‘I know you said you had some stuff to be getting on with but, uh, I did book the table for seven.’ He said sheepishly. 

She quickly pulled out her 8 and grimaced. 

‘You might have to settle for an 8 today.’ 

* 

Alkahest was sat on the sofa, unable to stop his leg from rattling, unable to keep still. He was nervous. He kept telling himself he shouldn’t be, they were way past first date stuff, she wasn’t going to go off him, or get a bad first impression. They were engaged for fuck’s sake. But still. A first date is a first date. Even after all the shit they’d been through. He was good at adrenaline and high stakes and big speeches. Romancing and dinners and first dates? Not so much. 

Obviously, he was good at flirting. And they had a kind of natural chemistry. Their earlier texts proved that; he had liked to read through them when he was locked down at Strych’s, savouring every message. He still liked to read them now. But texting was easier than talking, there was a disassociation, it was easy to get too personal over text. He felt much clumsier in person. 

But he kept telling himself it was ok; they knew each other pretty well now! He didn’t have to worry about reeling her in, she was already hooked! But that just left a dark pit in his stomach. He knew her, yes, but there was still a lot he hadn’t told her. A lot of stuff that she wouldn’t like. The brutality of his past was gnawing away at him. He kept replaying what she had said earlier, about them having a ‘good’ relationship, the word like an anchor, weighing him down. He wasn’t good. In any sense of the word.  

If she finds out what you did for the winter court, she’ll— 

‘Hey, you ok?’ Ursa asked gently. 

Alkahest jumped a little bit, twisting round to see her; he hadn’t even heard her come down the stairs. His dark worries suddenly dissipated as he looked at her, and his mind went completely blank. He stood up quickly, too quickly, he almost stumbled; he suddenly felt like one of those teenage boys in a cheesy romcom, scrabbling for something to say but mostly just blushing. 

‘I thought you were kidding.’ He croaked finally. ‘About the ten thing.’ 

She laughed. ‘This’ll be the first time you’ve seen me in a dressy-dress, what do you think?’ she did a little twirl, showing off her outfit. Alkahest couldn’t find any words. 

She always wore makeup, but somehow, she looked so much prettier? Her lashes were fuller, cheeks rosier; her lips were a bold red. Her hair wasn’t in the usual buns, she’d curled it, he’d guess, and there was a little plait going round the sides, but they weren’t tight curls, they were loose and cascading around her. There was a lot of glitter. 

The dress was white, flared out at the waist slightly, with a layer of gauzy, transparent white fabric on top, embroidered with strawberries. It had little drapes instead of sleeves, he had no idea what you’d call them, and corset detailing up the front. She had little white boots on, that had hearts for heels and little red heart charms on the zips. But as she twirled, what he had thought to be red tights, were revealed to be red socks or holdups, or whatever— he had no idea anymore– and if his mind was blank before, it was completely empty now. 

He managed to pull her close without his legs completely buckling. ‘You wanna stay in?’ he asked with a whisper. She laughed and he felt dizzy. Her breath ghosted his lips. 

‘Can’t have dessert before dinner.’ She purred and it took all his willpower not to just collapse at her feet. ‘Can I, could I, get a picture of us? Like a selfie?’ she asked shyly, twisting in his grip. She laughed again. ‘You do know what a selfie is right?’ 

‘Course I know what a selfie is!’ he grumbled, not mentioning that he didn’t know how to take a good one. 

Ursa got out her phone and to fit them both in, even with her heeled boots, Alkahest had to lean down. They took a few like that before he hoisted her up, grinning at her squeal of delight, so they were nearly at the same level. They carried on for a bit until they were both getting silly, pulling faces and giggling. She went to give him a kiss on the cheek but changed her mind, so he caught her lips with his. 

He’d only really gone in for a peck, but that was their problem. Neither of them could help themselves. The tension was too electric. Eventually Ursa pulled away with a gasp, and the way her lipstick had smudged just did something to him, and he leaned in for more but she pushed him away with a little laugh. 

‘I’m really sorry, I’m wearing like actual lipstick, instead of it just being a mask, you’re kinda—uh, kinda covered in it, sorry.’ 

Alkahest glanced over at the mirror in the hallway and, he had indeed got Ursa’s bold red lipstick all over his face. He made a little ‘huh’ noise. 

‘This is a good colour for me.’  

‘Hell yeah, you’re super-hot.’ Ursa said with a laugh, jumping down. ‘I think I have tissues?’ 

‘I’ll just go, uh, wash my face.’ He kissed her again, as she rifled in her bag for tissues. ‘You should, uh, you’ve got some-‘ 

‘Oh my god, yeah!’ she laughed, wiping her own face. ‘What are we like, eh?’ 

He smiled ruefully at her. ‘Yeah.’ 

* 

They managed to get to the restaurant by seven fifteen, so all in all, they did quite well. Ursa hadn’t been able to contain her excitement on the walk over. Not only was he taking her for sushi – she had dreamed about this moment so many times since he had first suggested it—it was finally their first date! But they were already a thing so she got to hold his hand on the walk over. She hadn’t realised she’d be the kind of sappy that would get so excited about hand holding. But here she was, having the time of her life. 

She felt over the moon when they got there and they practically had the place to themselves, there was a human-looking couple in the corner and a lone elf sat at the bar. They did a double take when the two of then walked in, but Ursa put it down to how hot a couple they made—she had already made one of their selfies her lock screen and background, she kept looking at it and swooning—she was going to have a good night, any nerves over fae be damned. 

They were seated, ordered some drinks—Ursa stuck to non-alcoholic for now since she had a very low tolerance and if anyone thought she was loud and extra sober, well, she only got louder and more extra—and when the waiter walked away, that’s when Ursa’s nerves really kicked in. 

Luckily, Alkahest’s nerves seemed to have done the same and they both smiled at each other shyly. 

‘Are you nervous?’ he asked. 

‘Oh my god yeah,’ Ursa laughed, ‘I think, less nervous than I would have been a few days ago, but my brain is just screaming ‘it’s your first date’ like over and over again.’ 

‘Less nervous?’ 

‘Yeah, I mean, the trial was a bad time, but at least now I don’t have to worry about coming on too strong or overstepping.’ She grinned at him. ‘I’ve already done all that.’ 

‘I actually think you don’t come on strong enough.’ 

‘I suppose I was a bit overwhelmed at the actual trial.’ Ursa laughed. ‘I was trying so hard to convince everyone I did the murder and then Cat Shit was after me and then, omg when you burst in and—I’ve mentioned how much I loved that right?’ 

‘What, me turning up?’ 

‘I mean, yeah, but also, I mean, it started off as like, the worst day of my life and then my crush turned up and declared his love for me and also saved my life sooooooooo, yeah haha!’ 

‘Ha, yeah I was a bit bolder than usual, y’know, for drama,’ 

‘Fair.’ 

‘But… I’d been avoiding reading into stuff, y’know, in case you didn’t feel the same, but, uh -‘ 

‘A bit hard to avoid after I kissed you?’ 

‘There’s that, but, kinda hard to deny that someone likes you if they sacrifice themselves to the fae court for you.’  

Ursa flushed. ‘Also, true. I really didn’t fool any of you, did I? Gotta get better at lying.’ 

‘Nah, I’m glad. Really glad. This has all been a nightmare but, I can’t argue with the end result.’ He thought for a moment. ‘I mean, we would have ended up here eventually. I wasn’t gonna let you get away.’ 

‘Me neither.’ 

They both smiled ruefully at each other. Ursa felt like she’d managed to cheat life somehow, skipping ahead. 

‘So, in terms of first dates, when was your last one? Are you as rusty as I am?’ She asked after a moment. 

‘Rustier. Last one, like a proper one was, uh, Strych in… the late 90’s? Not sure. No one since anyway.’ 

‘Oh jeeze, I assumed you’d be like, fending off interested partners.’ 

‘Anti-establishment loner, remember?’ He laughed before saying thoughtfully, ‘There’s been some offers, I went for drinks with a cute Incubus once, and I think I had a one-night stand with a Siren—still not sure if that was real or just brain fuckery—but, anyway, even with Panacea in the infernomicon I just wasn’t that interested. Wanted to focus on my work, y’know?’ 

‘I bet that was easier with her not around.’ 

‘Well, not really,’ He said with a sigh ‘she’d already made a name for herself, it’s an uphill battle as soon as anyone figures out its me, not her.’ He sighed. ‘I had to fight tooth and nail just to get that meeting with Erabu, and if you hadn’t been there…’ 

‘Good thing I was, eh?’ 

Grinning toothily at her, he squeezed her hand, only moving away as the waiter came to take their order. Ursa hadn’t even looked at the menu yet. 

But Alkahest had them covered, ordering one of pretty much everything. 

‘Look,’ he explained, ‘Sushi is like Tapas, there’s no point if you can’t have a bit of everything.’ He looked a little awkward. ‘Sorry, I don’t wanna seem like that kinda douchebag who orders for you. I just really wanna eat everything.’ 

Ursa just shrugged, trying her best not to fall even more in love with him. ‘No such thing as too much sushi.’ 

The waiter didn’t seem as amused, but left with their order anyway. 

‘So, I definitely guessed right about the foodie thing.’ Ursa stated with a giddy smile, resting her chin on her hand. 

‘Oh, hell yeah.’ 

‘Do you cook much? Or is it just the eating part you like?’ 

‘I can cook, not had much chance to recently. Strych doesn’t like food in their house, and I am nothing if not a respectful guest.’ 

Ursa blinked a couple of times. ‘Does Strych not eat?’ 

‘Nah, they’ll sometimes have tea, especially, uh, lapsang souchong, the smoky one, but they’re not interested in digestion most of the time.’ He stopped to think, leaning back in his chair. ‘Big reason why we didn’t work out, to be fair.’ 

Ursa remembered an earlier conversation with Rembra and, feeling out of her depth, asked carefully, ‘Do demons… not need to eat?’ 

‘Oh. Uh. Kinda? Not always. Some fiends don’t. I just like to. A lot. Some get actual energy and stuff from other sources. That’s why Strych’s house is so smoky, they’re a smoke demon.’ 

‘So, uh, what do you need? If not food? Do you sleep? Obviously, you sleep? Maybe you sleep?’ she asked, trying her best not to sound too manic. 

He laughed. ‘I like a nap, yeah, I don’t need much though. I’m a shadow demon uh, being in light ‘recharges’ me, the act of casting a shadow, I guess. Panacea’s the opposite. Needs complete darkness. The whole, can’t see fireworks during the day, a candle only burns bright in the night, yadda yadda.’ 

‘Oh, fair, fair!’ 

‘Man, they really don’t teach you much about outsiders at the institute, huh?’ 

‘I mean, to be fair, you guys weren’t supposed to be at ikea, we were way out of our depth. But also, no, not at all. Do you mind if I ask you something else? This is more personal, sorry.’ 

‘I mean, that’s what first dates are for, right?’ 

‘I know you said Panacea was your twin, do you have… other family? I don’t really know much about fiendish family structure, or anything apparently, ha ha.’ 

‘I mean, there’s no set family structure, most fiends won’t really have families. Most true outsiders are more uh, naturally occurring. Bubbling out of the primordial chaos of the universe kinda thing. Pan and I were… how do I describe it…’ He ponders for a second, tapping his glass with his nails. ‘Like, a hazard demon? Trap demon? Dunno what the official term is.’ When he saw Ursa’s blank expression he tried to elaborate. ‘Y’know in a haunted house movie and the house is just evil or possessed?’ 

‘Yeah?’ 

‘Kinda like that, but a derelict slaughter house in New York. We were the shadows and beams of light, preying on urban explorers and stuff. Uh, not that we were doing it consciously, kinda like a venus fly trap, it doesn’t know it’s killing shit, it’s just gotta eat. Although, I guess the people just dissolved or something, ‘cause we didn’t have mouths or anything.’ He shook his head. ‘Still can’t believe I went nearly two hundred years without a mouth.’ 

Ursa tried her best to keep a neutral face, unsure of what to do with this information. 

‘So, you both worked together, that’s nice?’ 

‘I guess? It was more of a… symbiotic thing? I don’t think it was a conscious decision, more survival instinct than anything, but I dunno, my memory’s really hazy, the whole ‘not sentient’ biz.’ 

‘So, when did you, uh, I guess digivolve?’ 

‘Oh, uh, yeah this kid got dared to come in, we were… y’know… chasing him…’ He seemed a little uncomfortable, shifting in his seat nervously, ‘but he was tricksy, skidded outta the way and me and Pan kinda… collided into each other and… Well, there we stood. Two beings. Actual bodies. Brains. And mouths, fucking finally.’ He took a drink. ‘We just knew that we were in New York, it was 1986, March, and just like, the general jist of being alive. We made our humanoid bodies and went to town. Pretty literally.’ 

‘Wow.’ 

He was watching her closely, anxiously. ‘Sorry, that’s a lot to dump on you.’ 

‘No, no!’ She reached out for his hands just as he moved them away and she tittered awkwardly, embarrassed. ‘I guess I just thought it’d be like a little gremlin Alkahest and not… a literal shadow monster.’ She admitted, immediately regretting it. He looked ashamed and Ursa felt like she’d more or less just shoved both her feet in her mouth. ‘That’s really cool though, I had no idea demons could manifest like that!’ 

‘Ha ha, yeah.’ 

‘And now I know your birthday is in March!’ 

‘Oh, I guess.’ 

‘Mine’s in September.’ She offered quietly. 

There was an awkward silence. Ursa could tell something was bothering him, but not exactly what, and that elf just would not stop staring at them and— 

‘Can I ask you something?’ 

‘Yeah, of course! Anything!’ 

He opened and closed his mouth a couple times, frowning. ‘I, uh, so… the trial? I guess, how did you manage to get Titania on our side? Just, wild, right? Ha ha.’ He didn’t laugh. 

She had a feeling that wasn’t what he had actually wanted to ask but she answered anyway. 

‘Oh, I did not get her on our side, I sucked, I was trying to… Oh boy, Cat Shit was on one. I think he wanted to get us both and he was just mean, but anyway I mentioned we had been uh, chatting after Ikea and Titania was like,’ Ursa cleared her throat for a moment before doing a pitch-perfect impression of the Fae Queen, ‘‘Oh to get your stories straight’ and I was like ‘no, obviously not, we talk about other things, you can read them’ and then, of course, she wanted to read all our texts—not my finest hour, I know—but after that, her whole attitude kinda changed? I mean, she was still scary as fuck but then she… It was so embarrassing, do you know what Queen Titania of the Summer Court, Queen of Earth and Daylight fucking asked me?’ 

‘…no?’ 

Her Titania impression came out again, although she couldn’t quite mimic the bite the Queen’s voice had had at the time. ‘Ursa Carpenter, do you like bad boys?’ she had to hide her face as she said it. 

‘NO SHE DIDN’T’ he shouted, almost leaping out of his chair. Ursa just nodded enthusiastically, cheeks burning.  

‘Yes, she fucking did AND I was in a zone of truth so I couldn’t even lie.’ 

Alkahest blinked before leaning in to whisper, ‘…Do you like bad boys?’ 

‘I couldn’t even respond; I think I just made a weird noise?’ 

‘OK, but… do you?’ He laughed. ‘I guess you must do because, well…’ He gestured at himself. 

‘I mean, I don’t think I’ve liked enough people to have preferences? Before you I only really crushed on Arwen from Lord of the Rings.’ Ursa paused. ‘Obviously I had feelings for Leto, I just didn’t really crush on her, I didn’t even realise we were dating at first so, uh, I realised that sounded bad.’ 

Ursa was also realising that first dates were perhaps not her forte. Her two other first dates hadn’t gone particularly well and, to be honest, she wasn’t doing much better with this one. And that elf kept looking over and maybe they were just watching the door waiting for someone, but it was getting her back up. Her nerves were alight. 

‘I guess the follow up question is then… what made you, uh, like me? Getting to the juicy stuff now.’ this time he did laugh, but it was almost manic. 

‘Oh, I… Uh…’ She did not want to talk about this. How the fuck could she describe the clusterfuck of emotions she had felt in Ikea without sounding like a complete psycho? ‘I mean… What wasn’t to like? Hot asshole? Ha ha!’ She took a sip of her drink, suddenly wishing she had ordered something a little stronger. That Elf was still staring too. 

‘I mean, you didn’t seem… interested at first?’ He said carefully, ‘I mean, I liked how you didn’t take any of my shit, that’s uh, what… I liked about you at first… I like… stubborn people, apparently.’ 

Oh God, he wasn’t dropping this. 

‘Oh, well, I mean… Yeah. Y’know. Hot asshole? What can I say? Um,’ The Elf had their phone out now, so hopefully that meant they would stop staring at her. The heat in her face might have set the whole restaurant on fire if it was allowed to spark for much longer. ‘You were just, y’know… there? Being hot? And… Yeah. Then you weren’t just hot, you were nice—’ 

‘Nice?’ He looked as if she had just slapped him. 

‘Yeah, with the, hair holding, puking, when I was… barfing everywhere, and… then…’ The Elf had not been distracted by their phone, like Ursa had hoped, they were now taking pictures of them, and had conveniently left the flash on. They seemed embarrassed, fiddling with it before they looked back at Ursa. Their eyes met. Ursa’s anxiety turned white hot. ‘Sorry, I’ve just got to-!’ and she ripped herself out of her seat and marched over to the Elf. 

‘Hi, hello, I’m Ursa, you already know that, clearly, why are you taking pictures of, uh, my partner and me? If you’re from the Summer Court, we sorted all that, there’s no need to try and poison us or anything!’ 

The Elf had the decency to look at least a little sheepish. ‘Oh dear, I’m dreadfully sorry, I had hoped to be more discreet. I’m not here about the trial, I’ve um, been sent by Queen Titania to… well, let her know how your first date is going.’ 

Ursa was stumped. ‘What?’ 

‘Perhaps we’ll go discuss it with Alkahest, you should both hear this.’ 

‘What?’ Ursa said again as the Elf got up and led her back to her table. 

‘I can’t believe how cute you look, you really pulled all the stops out, I bet he can’t keep his hands off you!’ the Elf laughed. 

‘What?’ 

They got back to Ursa’s table and Alkahest was looking a little raw; he stood up as they approached, a growl in the back of his throat. ‘Everything ok?’ 

Ursa pulled her chair next to his, sitting down, squeezing his hand tightly. ‘This is, uh, sorry, I didn’t get your name.’ 

‘I’ll introduce myself.’ If the Elf was bothered by the lack of seating, they didn’t say anything. ‘My name is Algernon, he/him, thank you, and I am Queen Titania’s personal Investment Investigator.’ 

Alkahest sat down, glaring at the elf suspiciously. ‘You’re her what?’ 

‘Our radiant Summer Queen enjoys the stories of others and likes to keep tabs on those she is personally invested in.’ 

Ursa looked over at Alkahest, absolutely horrified. ‘Omg, she ships us.’ 

‘And when you say, she keeps tabs, what does that entail?’ Alkahest asked with a snarl, his grip on her hand so tight, the kind of tight that would be dangerous if it found someone’s neck. All she could do was squeeze back just as hard. 

Even Algernon seemed a little taken back. ‘Well normally she simply scrys on those, but, uh, she’s had some trouble, especially with you, Alkahest. We’ve had to resort to other methods.’ 

Alkahest instinctively reached to his chest, where Ursa had no doubt the Amulet of Proof Against Detection and Location was nestled under his shirt. 

‘Other methods?’ Ursa asked casually. 

‘Oh, well, you know, non-magical means.’ Algernon didn’t give them time to think about the implications. ‘While I have you both here, I think it would be prudent to ask if perhaps we could have a closer look… I know the Queen would be extremely grateful for any concessions you would make.’ 

‘What does that mean?’ Ursa asked carefully, ‘Like, just letting you scry on us, or like… cameras in our flat?’ 

Algernon shrugged casually. ‘Whatever you would feel comfortable with. Previous interests have let the Queen set up things like cameras, magical or not, so she could observe them whenever she pleased—’ 

‘Wait, wait, would this be like a Big Brother kinda set up?’ Ursa asked with dawning horror. 

‘So, you’re asking if we’d be ok with the Summer Court basically spying on us 24/7?’ Alkahest growled, teeth gnashing. 

Algernon sighed in exasperation. ‘Of course not, only Her Majesty Queen Titania and a select few would be invited to attend any viewing parties—’ 

‘Viewing Parties!?’ 

Algernon finally seemed a little flustered, taking a little step back. ‘Of course, only with your consent—’ he added hastily. 

‘Oh yeah, I can see myself consenting to that just real soon. Sounds peachy.’ 

Ursa could hear the fury in his voice, it was the same kind of joking anger she’d first heard in Ikea, moments before someone’s head got bitten off. She had to do something. They hadn’t even gotten to eat yet. She breathed out through her nose, gave Alkahest’s hand a squeeze, put on a brave face, gulped down her own fears and stepped in. 

‘I think what Alkahest is trying to say, is that, although of course, we’re so grateful for Queen Titania’s blessing, and her involvement in the, uh, trial, she really fast-forwarded all of this for us, y’know? Like, we just moved in together and we’re… engaged,’ It was the first time she had said it out loud. Algernon’s eyes widened and he gave a soft little gasp. ‘But we’re only just going on our first date. I think we both need a bit of time to settle into all of this, a bit of privacy so we can work through stuff.’ 

Algernon sighed again, ‘Well, yes, of course, I can understand that.’ He sounded so disappointed however, so Ursa continued. 

‘Maybe in a little while, when we’ve gotten a bit comfier, we could speak with Queen Titania, or one of her representatives, about doing something like, I dunno, a private insta, a blog?’ She had a thought. ‘Oh, I’m on Youtube already, I could do like, relationship vlogs?’ 

He perked up at that, his ears twitching. ‘Oh, what’s your handle? I’m sure the Queen would be very interested.’ 

Ursa showed Algernon her channel, one hand still grasping Alkahest’s under the table, so tightly her fingers were going numb. He was stony and silent, except for the grinding of teeth. 

‘Yes, I think we can work something out. I had better leave you two to it, but we’ll be in touch.’ He hesitated. ‘This is probably too cheeky, but I’ve got to, can I get a proper picture of you? The Queen would be delighted.’ 

Ursa gulped as Alkahest’s grip threatened to rip her hand off. 

‘Omg, let me send you these selfies we took before, they’re so cute, it’s unreal.’ She squeaked, a little more manically than she had anticipated. 

Algernon squealed when he saw them, and Ursa sent him about 10, including one she accidentally snapped as they kissed. ‘The Queen is going to LOVE this.’ Algernon whispered; eyes wide. 

Ursa just gave him a winning smile. 

After he had left, she kissed Alkahest’s hand gently, his grip still tense. 

‘You doing ok?’ 

His jaw twisted a couple of times before he answered shortly. 

‘You handled that really well.’ 

‘Just one of my many talents. I figured we shouldn’t get on the Summer Court’s bad side like, immediately after we’re pardoned.’ 

‘Fair.’ 

‘And if all it takes to get Titania on our side is make some cutesy vlogs then that’s too good an opportunity to pass up, to be honest.’ 

He turned to look at her. ‘What?’ 

Ursa shrugged innocently. 

‘I mean, the Winter Court already owes you a favour, right? Wouldn’t it be great to have both courts in your corner? It might be the first time in history someone’s managed to get both Queens on their side.’ 

He blinked at her a couple of times, before he burst out laughing. 

‘Oh, Ursa Carpenter, you are sly.’ 

‘Guilty!’ 

They laughed together and he squeezed her hand. ‘Thanks Ursa, I don’t think I would have handled that very well if you weren’t here.’ 

‘I mean, I don’t think he would have been here if I wasn’t so don’t thank me.’ 

‘I’m serious, all I would’ve done is bite his head off.’ He thought for a moment. ‘Maybe literally. Which, uh, would not have been good.’ 

Ursa shrugged, moving her chair back so she could face him. ‘I mean, that’s why I’m here, to deescalate situations that don’t require head-lossage.’ She smiled at him, but he didn’t smile back. 

‘I don’t want you to feel like you’re my leash.’ He said quietly. 

Something was definitely bothering him, something that probably wasn’t going to come out over Sushi. Maybe she’d try and pry more when they were in the relative safety and privacy—maybe not as private as they had originally thought—of home. 

‘Don’t be silly, I don’t feel like that.’ She gave him her warmest smile and although he did reciprocate, it was half-heartedly. ‘Look, we’ve dealt with the crazy fae,’ Her head whipped round as she double checked Algernon had actually gone, he had, ‘and I promise to not put my foot in it again, ok?’ His smile got a little deeper at that and she took it as an opening to reach out for his hands, before he could move them away again, squeezing them tightly. ‘Let’s just try and enjoy the rest of the night, yeah?’ 

‘Course, yeah, sorry, just gotten in my own head.’ He hesitated. ‘I’m not really used to… dealing with… feelings? Kinda just used to uh, repressing the shit outta them.’ 

‘Oh my god, same!’ She laughed softly. ‘I didn’t lie to Algernon, as amazing as this has been so far, for me anyway, its a massive adjustment. We both might be a little… overwhelmed. We’re gonna need a bit of time.’ She smiled as she saw their food starting to arrive. ‘And a shit-ton of sushi.’ 

‘Hell yeah.’ 

‘I do have one more question, if you don’t mind?’ 

She saw him gulp and brace himself. ‘Course. Sure.’ 

‘You never actually told me your favourite book?’ 

He laughed, relief obvious in his face. ‘Yeah, I was kinda put off by Abidallion’s nightmare fuel recommendations. No offense. Strych enjoyed them though.’ 

‘None taken, Abidallion is super intimidating until you get to know them.’ Ursa laughed. 

‘I’m excited to get to know them.’ He replied warmly, squeezing her hand. Her stomach did a little backflip and she could only grin in reply. Maybe this wasn’t going to be such a bad first date after all. 

* 

After Sushi, unsurprisingly, they weren’t in the mood for dessert. The idea of the Summer Court watching them at any point was just too unsettling, so, after a quick ‘Could you please come ward our flat?’ text to Strych, they went to bed. Ursa couldn’t remember falling asleep, she had hoped to chat about what had been bothering him, but they were both a little worn out. Worn thin. 

When she woke up it wasn’t morning. Or at least, it wasn’t the time of morning you consider waking up at. The room was only lit by the shafts of moonlight, chilled by the night air from the open window. That’s not what she noticed first however. The bed was empty next to her. Alkahest was sat on the edge, head in hands. 

‘Hey, you ok?’ she asked sleepily, moving towards him. He turned to her with a hasty grin, one that didn’t do much to mask anything at all. 

‘Hey, sorry, just, uh, getting some water, y’know?’ 

‘Is something wrong? You’ve seemed kinda upset since dinner.’ she insisted. When he didn’t reply she added, ‘You can talk to me, about anything. If you don’t want to that’s ok too, but I’m here for you either way.’ She settled next to him on the edge of the bed, taking his hand in hers gently. 

His mouth twisted in indecision, before he let out a sigh. 

‘Ursa… you know I’m not… I’m not a good person.’ 

‘I mean, I was there when you bit a guy’s head off, I’m not going into this blind.’ She said with a yawn, rubbing her eyes. 

‘That’s not, I mean… I’ve done some really bad shit in the past, Ursa. And I’m going to have to do more in the future. If any one of us is gonna regret this, I think it’s gonna be you.’ 

‘Why do you think you have to be good? Or that I want you to be?’ Ursa asked gently. 

He looked away, ashamed, ‘I mean… you’re good. And someone said… well, what you said at dinner kinda confirmed it…’ 

‘What I said…?’ Suddenly it clicked for her. ‘The nice comment, right? I’m sorry, I was so distracted, I didn’t explain properly-’ 

‘It doesn’t matter.’ Alkahest interrupted quietly. ‘This is stuff that’s been brewing for a while. If you fell for me ‘cause I did something ‘nice’… Well, I’m actually a total bastard.’ 

‘I mean, you’re not, but ok, I know, look, when I was barfing and you didn’t say ‘I told you so’ or anything, it wasn’t like a switch flipped and I suddenly liked you. I already liked you, I just put you down as a hot asshole and did my best to not be interested, which didn’t work btw, I don’t know if you noticed how in your face I was, omg.’ Ursa looked at him hopefully, praying she didn’t have to explain any more than that. 

‘I mean… you don’t have to…’ He sighed, and Ursa had a feeling he would’ve said lie, which she definitely wasn’t doing. She was just omitting part of the truth. ‘But it doesn’t change anything’ He finished. ‘I’m… I’ve done some really heinous shit.’ 

‘I can’t deny I am super curious about what you did for the winter court. And I guess I don’t know how I’ll react without knowing what it is first… But I can’t really see you and heinous crimes in the same sentence.’ 

‘I’ve been killing people before I was even sentient, don’t be naive.’ 

‘That super doesn’t count, you didn’t even have a mouth? You can’t blame a flower for pointing at the sun, it’s not even instinct it’s just how it works.’ She retorted. 

‘Plants don’t kill people, Ursa.’ 

‘Um, yeah they do? Like, mushrooms are poisonous and people still eat them?’ 

‘Mushrooms aren’t plants, Ursa.’ 

‘Oh my god, ok, my point still stands. And anyway, if people are dumb enough to go into a fucking haunted slaughterhouse they deserve death, tbh.’ 

‘It freaked you out though.’ He said, voice quieter than Ursa could have ever imagined. 

She hesitated. 

‘Ok, so, cards on the table? I had been imagining a little black and white kirby, one that I could pick up and hug, so yeah, living shadows and sunbeams are a bit of a downgrade. But only because of their lack of hugability.’ She squeezed his hand before continuing. ‘Its super fascinating, honestly, I’d been thinking of you as a digimon, able to switch between forms but it’s more of an evolution? Like a pokemon, but you have a mega evolution!’ 

‘You’re making me sound cuter than I am, I’m an evil bastard and one day you’ll realise it’s too much for you.’ 

‘Alkahest, if you were actually evil… we wouldn’t be here? You wouldn’t have come to rescue me? You could have just left it, you risked everything to save me. Hell, if you were really evil, after you killed Montparnasse, you could’ve just killed all of us and taken the bones for yourself? That would have been a lot less hassle than all this.’ 

‘I’m not gonna kill the cute girl I just met at ikea, what a waste.’ He joked half-heartedly. 

‘See! A proper psychopath can’t form those authentic kind of connections? You would’ve chomped my head and been done with it.’ 

‘I mean, I don’t think I’m… You…’ He struggled with his words, as if the effort to say then was physically painful. ‘You make me better. Or… want to be better.’ Another sigh, more frustrated than the others as he scrubbed the back of his head. ‘But it’s not enough, I tried so. Fucking. Hard, getting you back, I was gonna just blast through every fucker that got in my way, but Nora and Merlin showed up and I figured you wouldn’t want to be rescued by someone who had killed your friends, but Vic wouldn’t budge and we ended up fighting his whole crew and I’m only good at killing shit, apparently.’ 

‘You’re good at lots of things actually.’  

‘I just don’t think I can be with someone like you and not… show you up. But, like, ethically… y’know?’ 

‘Someone like me?’ 

‘Ursa you’re… I’m not saying you’re like a pinnacle of goodness but… You’re the goodest thing I’ve ever met in this universe. The goodest thing I’ve ever been close to and I’m…’ He stared down at his open hands, as if he could see all the blood he’d ever spilled stained on them. 

She blinked at him a couple times, before whispering, ‘Oh boy…’ She was going to have to tell him. 

‘You’re… um, pretty wrong on that.’ 

‘You don’t have to be humble, I know—’ 

‘I’m not, this isn’t some self-deprecation BS. I’m just not as ethically sound as I would have you believe.’ 

‘What, because of the coffee machine?’ 

‘I mean, yes, using mind powers on a vanilla human so I could steal their coffee machine is pretty grim?’ 

‘That’s nothing Ursa, I’ve killed people.’ 

‘Look, I’m not saying we’re in the same league— we’re not, you’re way out of mine haha—but people aren’t just, uh,’ she had to stop herself from snickering, ‘black and white y’know? Everyone’s got a bit of both. Especially me.’ 

‘Ursa, no—’ 

‘Look,’ She interrupted, ‘there’s some stuff I haven’t… been honest about. About you…’ 

‘What?’ 

‘I wasn’t lying before, I did think you were just a hot asshole and I really did do my best to just… y’know, get on with my job?’ 

‘OK?’ 

‘Well…’ She hesitated. Maybe she didn’t need to go into detail and she could save a bit of face. Her survival instinct was creeping up and she could feel it taking over. With a sigh, however, she pushed it down. If I’m gonna do this whole relationship thing, I should probably try and do it right. 

‘OK. So, in case it wasn’t obvious, which I kinda hope it wasn’t, I went absolutely bananas over you. Like from the moment I met you, I tried to just be like, oh, a hot asshole, let’s ignore that, but I just couldn’t help myself. I don’t normally act like that and I definitely don’t normally point at people who could kill me with a snap of their fingers. I dunno if I wanted you to notice me, like me, eat me, a combination of all three? Who knows.’ She sighed again, her stomach twisting with nerves. 

‘So, I just put it down as some weird sexual tension, it had been a while and I’m weird but then… the barfing… This is so embarrassing, but when you asked if I was OK you gave me… the flutter, and I’d never had one before and that’s when I really panicked because Holy shit—’ 

‘Sorry, the flutter?’ 

‘Oh, uh, that’s what Tata always called it, like, butterflies? Heart skipping a beat kinda thing?’ 

‘Oh… Oh.’ 

‘Yeah, suffice to say, I was freaking the fuck out. It’s one thing to be into someone you just met, it’s another thing to be, well… yeah. So, when things started to get choppy…’ She clenched and unclenched her fists before playing with her hair nervously. ‘So, brain was like, we gotta get this under control, and, obviously I can’t control myself, so… you were the next best thing.’ She let out a shaky sigh. ‘I’m not even sure if you were going after those humans, I had pretty much already decided to Charm you… And obviously it just made things worse because then I felt guilty but I…’ She had to look away, cheeks burning ‘I just really liked it? How you stood next to me and looked at me and… The idea that I could just be like, ‘Hey let’s go snog round the corner’, or ‘Can you please eat all these people, thanks’ and you’d just do it, was just…’ she sighed again but it was shivery and from her core. ‘Let’s just say it was an ethical nightmare and leave it at that.’ 

‘Ursa, that’s not really—’ 

‘That’s just the beginning. Remember how mad I was when you killed Brian? Well, why wasn’t I mad when you killed Montparnasse? Both were pretty senseless, although in hindsight, the whole Lopaditie biz, but, whatever, so why didn’t I get up in your face for that one? Oh, it’s because my stupid heart decided, with no evidence or logic, since it’s not like you were still charmed, and it wasn’t in my defence or anything, that you did it for me and its now romantic. Which, uh, great way to start a relationship? Murder is fine with me now, I guess? So, again, not great ethically!’ 

‘Ursa…’ 

‘Oh, and you might have thought I’d calm down a bit after ikea, and maybe whatever the fuck this was would die out, but you would be incredibly wrong, in fact, I somehow went more insane! I couldn’t stop!’ She buried her face in her hands, heat searing her inside and out. ‘I sang a fucking song for you.’ 

Alkahest’s eyes widened, his mouth opening, looking like he was about to say something, but managed to stop himself in time. 

‘And then when you messaged me… and everything started going to shit, everyone was against you, Cat Shit… I…’ a nervous little laugh. ‘I really pride myself on being loyal, loyal to people who don’t deserve me, loyal to stupid family customs that make me feel like shit, loyal to the job I just got… but you…’ She managed to peek out of her hands at him. ‘I realised I’d throw it all away for you. I meant it when I said I would drop everything for you. Even if everyone was right, if you were using me, or if you were actually just “evil” right down the core or whatever, it didn’t matter. The amount of fantasies I had where you’d turn up in the middle of the night and say ‘Hey, burn down the institute and we can run off into the sunset together’ and I’d be like ‘hell yeah, just give me some matches!’ were just… a lot…’ a strangled laugh crawled up from her throat. ‘That’s why Saubra doesn’t like you, you’re the exact opposite of a self-preservation instinct.’ 

Alkahest’s face twisted a few times before he managed to speak. ‘Saubra doesn’t… no, look, we’ll talk about that later, Ursa, I get what you’re trying to say but, this is nothing. I’ve literally killed people. People that didn’t deserve it.’ He turned to her, looking the most sorrowful she’d ever seen him. ‘And even if it was comparable, which it ain’t, you wouldn’t do that? I know you, you wouldn’t throw away what you have at the institute, the opportunity to help people, the bonds you got with your friends? I know you wanna make me feel better but—’ 

‘What literally happened yesterday?’ Ursa interrupted. ‘I mean, ok, I didn’t physically set anything on fire, but if any of the bridges I burnt survived, it is 100% down to Brynner’s good graces.’ She twisted towards him, unable to break eye contact, feeling desperate and manic. ‘I lied to and manipulated the head of the institute for you. I dismantled my entire life for you. I’m glad I didn’t have to hurt anyone because… I don’t know how far I would go for you. For this. And that’s terrifying! I was the one lecturing Nora about the sanctity of life in Ikea!’ 

‘Ursa…’ 

She twisted away finally, unable to look at him. It was all too raw. She’d turned herself inside out, exposing all the parts of herself she tried to hide from everyone, from him, from herself. 

‘Look, I’m not trying to freak you out, I know it makes me sound insane, I just, look.’ She glared at the window, crossing her arms and legs, ‘everyone has good and bad inside them. Myself included. When I fell for you, I didn’t fall just for the nice bits, the bits that mean you ask if someone’s OK, or how you make goofy anecdotes to make me laugh. I also fell for the hot asshole that bit off someone’s head, that shot cat shit in the face with a shotgun.’ Her stare moved to her hands, which were shaking. ‘Yeah, of course, if you want to be better, I’m gonna help you, if you want to work on problem solving without resorting to violence, that’s great, but I don’t want to change you. I didn’t go into this thinking how I was gonna like… tame the beastly demon, gross. I just want to be with you. Good and bad.’ 

There was silence. She hazarded a look up at him. 

‘Oh.’ Was all he managed. 

Ursa flushed, hiding her face in her hands again, as if she’d be less embarrassed if she could just hide how red she was. ‘I’m gonna need some reassurance that you’re not like, mentally backing away, please.’ 

‘No, I’m not, I just…’ a long hesitation. ‘So, Saubra doesn’t like me?’ 

Ursa’s head whipped towards him. That’s what he’s taken from all that??? ‘Um, yeah, sorry, she’s literally the personification of my self-preservation, and you make me do the opposite of that. We had a bit of a talk though, it should be OK?’ Ursa did not mention them finally meeting because she herself was dreading it. Almost as much as him meeting her parents. 

He seemed to be picking his words carefully. ‘So, when she said that you didn’t like me at first because I was a sarcastic asshole was that…?’ He let it dangle. 

Ursa shot up, ‘Oh my god, what???’ In the distance she could sort of hear Saubra laughing. ‘When did she say that??? At the trial? I’m normally aware of what happens, but we were split magically! I didn’t know she said that!’ she gasped softly, breath hitching in her throat, ‘holy shit is that what brought all this on?’ 

Alkahest looked away ‘No, I mean… it’s been brewing… that just, brought it to the surface.’ He hesitated. ‘It’s OK if… if you didn’t at first, I was being a prick—’ 

‘I mean, I didn’t like you,’ Ursa said hotly, ‘I was, y’know, head over heels for you from the second I saw you, I guess it’s semantics but, oh my god, I can’t believe her!’ she got up off the bed, suddenly considering hiding under it forever until she died, but he grabbed her and pulled her into his lap. 

‘I mean, if she’s just fucking with me, that’s a big relief.’ Alkahest laughed as Ursa squirmed, still hiding her face. 

‘I’m gonna kill her!’ Ursa mumbled, muffled as she tried to curl into herself as tightly as possible. 

‘Nah, its fine, I deserve a bit of fucking with.’ He laughed as he squeezed her, sounding the happiest he’d been all night. 

She managed to part her fingers and look up at him. ‘Are you feeling… better?’ She asked with a wobbly voice. 

He laughed, smiling sincerely. ‘Yeah. It’s fucking hard talking about feelings, but… I feel good, thanks.’ 

Ursa was going to reply, when she suddenly had a thought. A question she would never normally be able to ask. Now was the only time, she was already so embarrassed she might implode at any moment, she’d never get another opportunity. 

‘Hey, why didn’t you get mad at me? For charming you?’ She whispered, so quietly Alkahest had to lean in closer. ‘I know it helped in the long run, but, if that had been anyone else you would have been pissed, right?’ 

It was his turn to flush. ‘It just… It didn’t feel any different? I only really noticed when it was over. There was this music playing? Off in the distance, you singing I think, but I only realised when it went away.’ He thought for a moment. ‘Your Charm spell was the equivalent of bribing me to do something I was already going to do. Like, “I’ll give you 20 dollars to eat this pizza” and I’m like, “it was already pizza time, you fool, now it’s pizza time and I’m up 20 bucks”.’ He smiled a little shyly. ‘So, yeah, hard to get mad when it didn’t even feel like you’d done anything.  And it stopped Monty doing whatever he wanted in my head, so, y’know…’ He shrugged, sheepishly. 

Ursa’s brain felt like it switched off, too powerful was the surge of lightning that scorched her. All she could feel was fire. 

‘I want dessert.’ Ursa whispered, twisting in his arms, clambering up, heart pounding in her chest. She felt like her bones were going to vibrate out of her. 

Alkahest went very pink. He didn’t seem to know what to say, ‘But what about Titania?’ he managed, a little squeaky. 

‘Let her watch.’ Ursa’s voice was low, dangerous. ‘I’ll put on a show so hot she blushes and looks away.’ 

Alkahest just gulped audibly, in response. 

* 

The pancakes ended up being apology pancakes. 

Ursa decided to let Alkahest have a lie in, he was sleeping so soundly when she woke up, it felt criminal to disturb him. Especially after the night they’d had. So, she’d gone to update her social media platforms, tease her upcoming videos, reactivate her website and shop and just general online presence maintenance. She’d been responding to emails when her phone had rang, and without thinking, without looking, she’d answered it. 

‘Orsolya.’ Came her Mother’s crisp, curt voice. 

Ursa felt her stomach drop about four hundred floors. 

‘Solya, sweetie. How are you?’ Came her Father’s soft, loving voice 

‘Mama, Tata,’ Ursa’s voice sounded more strangled than she had hoped, ‘I’m doing fine, how are you two?’ 

‘Are you back from your work trip?’ her mother’s tone was like an ice pick. 

Ursa blinked a couple of times before, with dawning horror, she remembered the text she had sent just days before. 

‘Hey Mama, Tata, I’m having to do some stuff at work so I’ll be out of contact for a bit! Don’t worry, I’ll explain everything when I get back! Love you!’ 

Of course, she hadn’t explained about her new job yet. Not even to Panna. Not that it mattered now, she’d quit. So much had changed, and too quickly, how was she ever going to explain? 

‘Solya?’ her Tata prodded gently. 

‘Oh, sorry, um, yeah! I’m back, uh, but don’t send any care packages for a bit, everything’s a little up in the air right now, you know?’ 

There was stony silence. 

She realised how that would sound, given her parents’ preconceptions about her job, her videos, in that they did not consider it one at all. 

‘Not in a bad way,’ She added hastily, ‘things are going really well. Really, really well.’ 

‘That’s good, Solya.’ Her Tata sounded like he was reassuring a child, and Ursa’s stomach twisted. She really didn’t want to do this over the phone. 

‘I do have some stuff I need to, uh, catch you up on.’ Ursa said meekly, relieved she wasn’t on facetime. 

‘Yes, that is obvious.’ 

Ursa winced at her Mama’s tone. It lanced through her, not unlike the lightning she felt with Alkahest, except this time altogether unpleasant. She wracked her brains. She couldn’t just invite them over to chat, they didn’t like to come into Middlemarch and to invite them to her new home, well, she was absolutely not ready for that particular ritual. A tiny, desperate spark of an idea formed, risky as it was. 

‘You’re… the barbecue’s coming up right?’ Ursa hinted. When there was only silence in reply she quietly added, ‘Maybe I could… drop by? You said I was still welcome… for that, right?’ 

‘Solya, of course!’ Her Tata’s energy had totally changed. He sounded euphoric. ‘I know you feel like you can’t come home because of the ritual, but Solya, you are always welcome.’ 

‘Of course,’ Her Mama added, the ghost of warmth in her voice, ‘you can come home any time.’ 

Ursa laughed nervously. She hoped they hadn’t gotten the wrong idea. ‘Great! Lovely. Maybe I could… bring someone?’ 

Tense silence. 

‘Sweetie, yes! The more the merrier!’ her Tata cried out. 

A brief silence. A shuffling noise, what might have been a nudge. 

Her Mama cleared her throat. ‘Yes. The more the merrier.’ 

Ursa could feel her glower down the phone. 

This was not going to go well. 

* 

Alkahest was much less frightened by the prospect of the barbeque and meeting her parents than she was, and had decided it was going to be their first little holiday. 

‘You and me in the lakes, cute little cottage? Does that not sound heavenly? We’ll get afternoon tea or some shit.’ He seemed less sincere since his mouth was full of pancakes. 

Ursa bit down any complaints she might’ve had as he booked it. She had just been about to suggest the holiday inn—about all she could afford right now—but he was right, that did sound heavenly. Once again, he just sort of brushed her off when she mentioned splitting it between them. She pouted for a little bit as they assembled blankets and popcorn for their movie party, eventually sighing. 

‘When I’m not super unemployed, you’re gonna have to let me treat you a whole bunch, ok?’ 

He laughed and gave her a kiss. They settled down for the Fellowship of the Ring. That’s when things started to go wrong. 

His cool-as-a-cucumber attitude seemed to evaporate as the film went on; he was unable to sit still, she kept having to shift further from him as he practically pushed her away; his leg was constantly tapping, fingers drumming in a constant rhythm. At first, she pouted a little, maybe he just wasn’t a cuddly person? But she soon realised it was nerves. He kept just staring at her, looking away when she looked at him with a hasty smile. It seemed like he wasn’t paying attention to the film at all. 

She tried to think, could all the stuff from last night still be bothering him? She had kinda swept it under the rug and just jumped on him. She blushed remembering how forward she had been and prayed Alkahest wasn’t looking—he was, so she brushed it off as seeing Arwen being badass, driving off the Nazgul, to which he nodded nervously—maybe there were still things on his mind, and she’d just not noticed. 

After a while, she realised she wasn’t really paying attention either, too worried. She asked a couple of times if he was OK, if there was something on his mind, but he just nervously laughed it off, getting more and more fidgety. By the time they finished the Two Towers it was unbearable. Her stomach was twisted into so many knots, an awful dark worry settling on her chest. What if he doesn’t like Lord of the Rings??? She wasn’t sure if she could bear to be in a relationship with someone who didn’t like these films again – Leto had called them boring and sappy, which led to their first fight because Ursa snapped back ‘They’re more interesting than Grey’s Anatomy, and I sat through about fifty of those without complaining!’ to which Leto called her a selfish little brat and it all derailed from there. 

As he got up to put the King Returns disc in, she stopped him, tugging at his sleeve gently. 

‘Hey, we can stop watching if you want? I don’t wanna presume but I don’t think you’ve been paying much attention? If you’re not enjoying them, that’s fine, but if something’s bothering you, I’d rather talk about it.’ Her voice was a little quieter than she had intended. He hesitated before he sat back down beside her. 

‘Sorry. I… I’m just really nervous. I,’ his fidgeting seemed to completely stop as he brought out a little box from his pocket. ‘I made you something. Well, us something, technically.’ He held it out to her. 

Her mouth was suddenly so dry, she could barely get any words out. ‘Wait, what? Why?’ 

‘Oh, y’know, little ‘glad you’re not dead’ gift.’ 

‘I didn’t get anything for you?’ She squeaked out. 

‘No, I’m just being a dick, sorry. It’s, y’know, to make everything official. I dunno if there’s, uh, special changeling customs about… rings? But there isn’t any for demons so I figured, we’ll do whatever?’ He opened the box up, shifting a little closer to her. Inside were two gold rings, one set with a white opalescent gem and the other a black gem that glinted with rainbow iridescence when the light hit it. 

Ursa’s breath was stuck, somewhere between her mouth and lungs. 

‘They’re uh, practical too?’ He added, as if he needed to sell the concept of matching, meaningful jewellery to her, ‘I know you like to get gored by minotaurs and beat up by angels and dragons and hand yourself over to vengeful fey, so uh, with this, if you get yourself into a… situation, you can, boop,’ He touched the gem for emphasis. ‘And message me ‘Hey Alkahest, there’s this giant, uh, frog? What should I do?’ And I can reply with, ‘Hey, just shoot it in the fucking head.’ 

‘Are… giant frogs likely to appear?’ Ursa asked, knowing that wasn’t the point. 

‘I mean, if you hang around Nora, yeah. Anyway, this frog, if he’s a bit too much for you, you boop it again, I can teleport straight to ya.’ He grinned hastily. ‘I’ll sort it right out.’ His grin mellowed. ‘You, uh, don’t have to handle stuff by yourself now, y’know.’ He hesitated, before adding with a smile, ‘And neither do I.’ 

Ursa managed to find some words as her vision got blurry. ‘That’s so fucking cool. You made these?’ 

His face fell a little. ‘Well, not from scratch.’ He admitted. ‘But I did add some stuff to make them unique, y’know? Well, I got Strych to help. They don’t want to talk to either of us for at least three months apparently.’ 

Ursa laughed, although it came out a little choked. ‘When did you even do this?’ 

‘Well after our, uh,’ He hesitated as he blushed, ‘talk last night, I just… It was nice working stuff out, and actually feeling better? And I just wanted to, I dunno, do a bit of a gesture.’ He shrugged with a soft, sheepish smile. ‘You know how it is.’ 

Ursa could only nod in reply. He put the box down on his leg hastily, carefully picking out the Ring with the black gem. He reached out for her hand. 

‘You, uh, still up for this?’ He asked quietly, voice wobbling. Ursa tried to say yes, but only managed a squeak, tears starting to leak from her eyes. Thank God her makeup today was just a mask. He slid the Ring on to her finger, and it shrank until it perfectly fit her, heat burning through the band as she felt the magic bind to her. 

Her hands were quivering as she did the same to him. She wasn’t sure if he felt the same singe, but they both gasped as there was a thrum in the air, the two gems sparkling and flashing in unison, as the magic bound them together. Both the Rings and each other. Ursa stared at them for a very long time. When she looked up into his eyes, they were as watery as hers. 

Without saying another word, she clambered into his lap and wrapped herself around him, holding on for dear life. She wasn’t sure how long they stayed entwined for. Eventually, she pulled away, wiping her eyes, laughing softly, as he did the same sheepishly.  

‘Feels a bit weird to just carry-on watching lord of the rings now. We can do something else if you want?’ 

‘No, I wanna watch it, you might just have to give me some cliff notes, I have no idea what’s going on.’ He put his arm around her and kissed her head gently. ‘We gotta watch these again soon though, I can tell they’re really important to you and, uh, well… y’know.’ 

‘Yeah, I get it.’ She beamed at him, linking her hand with his. ‘So, what did you get from the first two?’ 

‘Uh, ok, so, nasty Ring? A guy wants it back, he might be a tower?’ 

‘He’s the eye at the top of the tower.’ 

‘Oh, right, uh, yeah. So, they have to go… give it to him?’ 

Ursa waited for him to continue, but that was apparently it. 

‘Oh boy.’ 

‘Do they get the wizard guy to play two characters? That really threw me off.’ 

‘No, well, kinda—’ 

‘And why do they have such an ugly dog now?’ 

‘What? Wait, do you mean Gollum? He isn’t a dog?’ 

‘Oh, good, I thought it was tonally inappropriate to have a talking dog but what do I know?’ He smiled ruefully at her. ‘Sorry, I was really freaking out.’ 

She pulled him down for a kiss. ‘Don’t worry,’ She murmured lovingly, ‘I’ll make a lotr nerd out of you yet.’