So, Merlin wants more to drink. He wants, specifically, MOJITOS! Ursa scans around a bit to try and spot if there’s anything they should be looking out for, but doesn’t catch anything. Nora does, though – there’s a figure, out in the ocean, headed towards them.
They decide they need a closer look, and luckily Earnest—who’s on his way out after being threatened—is an avid birder. So, Ursa goes to chat him up while Nora steals his binoculars. Said binoculars are in a velcro bum-bag (he’s bad at the whole bird thing and hasn’t realised the noise will scare the birds), and Nora is able to steal them with a mage hand once Ursa asks him about Christianity.
Through the binoculars, Nora sees the oncoming figure. Angelic in form and stature, with a blindfold, and due to hit the beach in minutes at the speed it’s going. Merlin has hacked the speakers to play club mixes, then UB40.
Meanwhile, the judging begins. Alkahest eats some of that dildo chilli. He says it’d be better if Rembra had used the real thing, for fuck’s sake. Disgusting.
Merlin decides he wants more drinks again. It’s demon drink, designed to bypass the poison immunity and really fuck you up, so he’s just absolutely shitfaced. He wants a banana daiquiri in a banana. Miasma is able to bend a glass into a banana shape, but it takes some doing. Ursa tips a bucket of ice water on him, but it barely makes a difference and he wanders off to the ocean with his daiquiri.
Nora tackles him to the ground, to stop him lightning bolting the oncoming Angel and ruining the event, but he saves his glass. They slap each other a bit but get nowhere.
The Angel arrives, and announces herself as Barcarolle; that all the demons on the beach are going to be killed. Ursa tries to tell her they aren’t all demons, but there’s a blindfold, sooo…
A fight breaks out. Merlin fires off a massive lighting bolt and witch bolt (it’s a bolt-based economy), with Nora using the Mantlepiece (it’s NOT called the titty gun) and avoiding using spells that might get the Morris Worm’s attention, and Ursa attempting to use some charm effects, but the blindfold appears to magically shrug them off, lighting up with the wing pattern.
Ursa Channel Overrides the speakers to make a small announcement about how the contestants shouldn’t worry and should, in fact, enjoy the show. She begins giving colour commentary about how much the attacks have gotta hurt.
Barcarolle throws Merlin out to sea, but in the process he’s able to break the tie on her blindfold. She goes for Ursa next, when her charm effects still don’t quite connect, but Ursa dodges the attacks and Nora’s gun ends up pointed at the angel’s temple. She fires and sends her sprawling in the ocean.
Ursa tries to get answers, and Barcarolle seems shocked—now that she can see—that they aren’t demons after all. She explains that she’s here in search of the rumoured halo that’s a prize.
Ursa’s like ‘Well, there actually is no halo prize, that was just a rumour.’ (everyone gasps) ’And I only know like… three angels, and I don’t know if any of those are missing a halo?’ She spots the broken blindfold with its wing pattern, floating on a wave. ‘Oh… is that supposed to look like Myst? Are you friends with Myst?’
Barcarolle goes quite still. ‘Oh, to be friends… I worship her. Every member of her choir does.’
‘Oh, well, she tried to kill us,’ says Ursa, before catching herself. ‘I mean, uh… how is she?’
Barcarolle sees red, and lunges for her. Ursa’s already moved, though, and in the kerfuffle, Alkahest has finally left the chilli tasting and grabs the angel’s head and slams it into the sand, killing her. He takes the halo and announces ‘Looks like we got a grand prize after all. Let’s eat some more fuckin’ chilli!’
Everyone cheers. Merlin rides back to the beach on a spectral seahorse. Everyone cheers that too. It’s fucking wild.
The winner is announced and it’s Amyll. Everyone’s a bit worried about her using the halo for evil, but she reveals that she’s actually really feeling the union thing and that to be totally honest, Benzene’s been in a coma for a while. The halo should be more than enough to fix him up.
Alkahest thanks everyone for the help, and gives each of them a Caliber Institute treasure token as a reward. When asked where he got them, he’s like ‘ahh I killed a guy, it’s fiiiine’. Ursa pretends she’s distressed by this but likes demon cock too much to really cause much of a fuss.
The daiquiris in the banana glasses were very very popular. Everyone does finger guns.
Roll History 